baby doll gone wrong
by iloveme5895
Summary: so a new kind of new moon. Edward left Bella telling her not to do anything stupid and all of that. She goes off and gets mixed up in the ‘wrong crowd’ and soon is doing drugs and parting 24/7. What happens when Edward comes back after 6 months like he sa
1. After He Left

Baby doll gone wrong

Summary: so a new kind of new moon. Edward left Bella telling her not to do anything stupid and all of that. She goes off and gets mixed up in the 'wrong crowd' and soon is doing drugs and parting 24/7. What happens when Edward comes back after 6 months(like he said he would) and sees her the way she is. Can he help her?

Disclaimer: I do not own ANYTHING in Twilight, but I do have some of my own charters that I put in there.

Also this is just to pass time until the next books come out! August 2!! Yea I'm counting down the days!!

Chapter one : after he left

Weeks passed everyone was worried about me, but I couldn't find any reason to try at life anymore. He left me all alone in the stupid woods. I wish he just never talked to me, and that I never moved to Forks. What's so good about this stupid town; I'll tell you what, NOTHING! I tried to tell my self that everything would get better, but with each passing second I got more and more depressed. I thought about killing my self, but I could never do it. I ended up cutting myself a few times, but even that didn't help a thing. I needed a change.

Then one day I just decided to go out to Seattle. There I looked around until I found a store I would never be in. It was full of black cloths and before I knew it I bought a new wardrobe. I threw out all my old cloths, cause everything reminded me of him. He was everywhere and all I wanted to do was forget him, but I couldn't. I showed up to school and I was as people call it 'anti social' I didn't talk to anyone, what was the point. One day out of nowhere 2 new kids showed up at school. Both of them also wore the dark clothing I wore and they walked up to me.

"Hi," The girl with pure black hair said as she and the other girl was sitting down with me at the table away from everyone. I nodded not really knowing how to respond. I haven't said a word in months, but they didn't seam to care. "This place is quite the dump," she said again, "o how rude of me, I'm Melissa and this is friend Claire."

"I'm Bella" I said finding my voice but it coming out a bit crackly. "Why did you two move into a place like this?"

"My mother wanted to move into a small town. She came because well, our moms are like lesbians, so they stick together." Melissa said.

"It gets annoying sometimes, but at lest we stay together. So why are you here?" Claire asked me.

"My dad lives here and I left my mom. She has enough to deal with without me being there." It felt weird to finally be talking after so long. My vocal cords hurt a bit. They both gave me a understanding look.

"It never gets me how everyone I know who dressed like us always have some kind of problem." Claire said with a sort of smile. "We should hang out sometime." Before I knew it we were bonding. We decided to ditch class and we went off in my truck. They didn't have their cars brought up yet from what they told me.

"Do you smoke?" Melissa asked me. I was suddenly hit with the fact that they were probably not the best people to be hanging with. I didn't care though. I was tired of feeling like dieing.

"Not really." I said back truthfully.

"O, do you mind if we smoke in here?" I pondered the thought for a moment. I was 18, it wasn't illegal for me to do it. I wondered if Charley would care, but then gave up. I do what I want. I thought to my self, and that gave me an even better idea.

"No, in fact can I have one?"

"Sure." She passed the cigarette over to me. I had no clue as to why I would take this thing. I was killing of part of my body, I mean there goes more of my life. On second thought, who gives a shit about my life. He left me; he left me to die, that dick.

I started to smoke it and I didn't know why people make it such a big deal I coughed once and after that, I was fine. Both of the girls gave each other a look and we ended up going out of town to one of their friends houses that lived about an hour out. I really didn't know what I was doing but it wasn't like I would ever have a meaning in my life.

A guy answered the door, "Melissa, Claire, what are you two doing here?"

"Well, we thought we should stop on by. O and this is my friend Bella." Melissa said pointing to me. He looked over at me and I swear he did a double take. "She is off limits" Melissa added quickly. "I'm not going have you screw her, and leave her." She said.

"Ok I get it." He walked over to me and smiled. "My name is Tommy, you can call me Tom." I looked over and saw both Claire and Melissa roll their eyes. We started to walk into his house and I was hit with the smell of, I have no clue but it wasn't legal. I saw everyone sitting down in a circle and I joined in. at first I was just going to watch, but what fun was that , right. People make sure a big deal about this shit, so why not try it. After a few joints I understood why people tell you no to do it. People where talking but I couldn't understand a dang word anyone was saying. Then to think I still had to drive home, gosh dang it.

Ok so it's a little rough I want to know if anyone likes it, I been looking 4 a flick with Bella doing drugs I didn't find one, so I'm writing one lol tell me what you think!

ashley


	2. before i knew it

Baby doll gone wrong

Chapter 2 : before I knew it

Time started to pass by so fast, and I didn't feel a thing. For once I didn't have to think about Edward, and that was the best feeling in the world. I wanted it to last forever, but in the back of my mind I knew it wouldn't. Everything felt so right, but at the same time wrong. Claire came over to me after having some shots of Mad Dog with a smile. "So how do you like it?" she said with her words a bit slurred.

"Great, everything feels perfect" I said with a smile. She laughed and dragged me up and to the kitchen where everyone else was. Melissa was running around looking for food, and that's when I noticed I had the urge to eat, and eat a lot. "Wow I am so hungry." I said sounding like I haven't eaten in days.

Melissa came bouncing up to me, "Munchies time!!" I laughed not really knowing what she meant, but I followed her anyway. Some of the boys joined in with us while getting cereal and brownies. I started to feel numb and before I knew it everything went back into place. I couldn't describe it, but I knew that I wasn't high anymore. I was off the trip I was on and it came back to me that I could feel. I didn't like to feel ; I didn't want it, and before I knew it I was craving to be high again. I guess everyone else felt the same way because we smoked some more. For a second everything stood still, and in that second I was able to think about my life. It was as if I relived everything that happened in a second. My whole stupid existence.

I sat back and watched everybody. Somehow I still couldn't imagine that I was here. Doing what I was doing, why was I doing this again? I thought to my self. I was hallow and I thought I would hear my own thoughts bouncing all around my body. I was the weirdest experience ever. I shut my self off and was lost inside my own head. In my head everything was right with the world Edward didn't leave, and I was picturing how my life would have been.

We bought a whole lot of stuff from them, and then we left. We were laughing and sometimes I forgot I was driving, but I somehow was sober enough to were I was able to drop them off and drive my self home. When I pulled into the drive way I saw my dad waiting for me on the front porch. O shit was the only thing that went though my mind. Here I was fucked up and my dad was waiting for me. Not only that but he was a cop; the people that bust others for doing drugs and all of that. Thank lord Claire gave me perfume before we left, but I didn't know if it could out do the weed, cigarette, and alcohol smell off me.

"Hey dad" I said as I opened the door and shut it. I was so fucked cause I stumped out of my truck, but he didn't seam to notice.

"Where were you?" He asked in a serious tone. I tried so hard not to laugh because his face was all moving in a circular way and his face was multicolored. I never knew that I was missing out on so much in my life.

"I was hanging out with some friends." He looked at me and smiled. He looked relieved for a second, but then his serious face came back on.

"That's good, but next time could you be home before 12." I swear it was 11, it had to be.

"What time is it?" I asked

"1:30" Holy crap cakes, where did all my time go.

"Shit I am so sorry dad; I didn't mean it." He looked at me and I noticed that what I said didn't make sense. "I mean that I didn't know the time could fly by so fast. I promise to be home earlier." I said with a fake smile. If he didn't noticed something was up her was rather the dumbest cop ever, or in denial. He nodded and I ran up the stairs; I didn't really want to be stuck talking to him while I was in this state. I got to my bed and quickly fell asleep while I was trying to forget about hands that used to be around me as I did. The hands that would save me time and time again. I had tears slowing sliding down my cheeks, but I refused to wipe them.

Ok that was a little short, but that's cause I started to write more and then I was all that should be in the next chapter so I can make that one even longer. This is more of a wrap up of the first chapter. So I hope you like. O and Mad Dog is a alcoholic drink, in case you didn't know. A good one at that!


	3. i wish

Baby doll gone wrong

Chapter 3: I wish

The next morning I got dressed, and I quickly made my way to Claire's place. I tried to remember exactly where I went last night, but my mind was still in a haze. Not only that, but I think I was experiencing my first hangover. I soon found the place, only because they were standing outside while smoking a cigarette. They jumped in the truck and we went to school.

"So was last night rad or what" Melissa said while taking a hit of her cigarette. I tried not to smile, but it was hard not to. Who would ever know that I, the good girl, could do that. I never thought I would ever do any kind of drug, but here I was smoking a cigarette, while Claire rolled a joint.

"It rocked." I said as we pulled up to a spot not to far from the school. We jumped out of the truck and proceeded to 'smoke and toke.'

I have no clue why no one noticed that we where high. We where falling down acting like idiots, but no one even gave us a second glance. I soon noticed that the three of us where in every class together. None of the teachers even noticed, or if they did they, they kept it to themselves. It seamed like I just walked into my first class, when it was suddenly time to leave. These drugs where better then people gave credit for. I didn't even remember what happened at lunch. We got in my truck and started to head towards Tom's place. I was so hyped that we would be getting shit faced again. I could stop more of these thoughts of Edward and forget who I am. Even if it was only for a little while I was fine with it.

We arrived at his house and just walked right in. "Hola, girls" I heard Tom yell from the couch. We quickly went over to smoke some weed with him. It was only the four of us so we decided to talk."You know, I wish life was as easy as it is right now." Tom said passing the joint to Claire. I laughed at what he said, and after he passed it, he fell right over.

She took a hit and smiled, "Now I wish, that we could spend our whole lives smoking this." She passed it to Melissa, and I watched her take a big as hit. She was always the one that took in half the dang joint in one hit. She smokes like a chimney.

"I wish, that my mom would stop making every thing about her." We laughed and then she passed the joint over to me. I looked at that joint and I knew that it would erase all of my problems. That soon my head would be cleared, and I could do as I pleased, without him in there.

I took my share and said the first thing that came to my mind. "I wish, that my x-boy friend would get out of my head, so I could move on." Everyone nodded, as in a way to show that they knew the feeling. I was about to pass it to Tom, but he was still on the couch, and I think he passed out. I laughed at him, but we just skipped him and finished the joint with the infamous 'I wishes' all around. Before I knew it I got this feeling in my mouth. It was as if there was something in there. I started to try and swallow it, but that didn't help at all. The girls laughed at me, and they got me some juice.

"It's called cotton mouth. Looks as though you are really fucked up." Melissa said with a smile across her face. I ended up drinking all of that it a few seconds. I couldn't believe it, but I was still thirsty. I tried getting up, but failed miserably. I had to have Claire and Melissa pull my ass up. The whole time we where laughing and giggling.

We sat down in his kitchen with a container or Kool-Aid and some cigarettes and smoked the hour away. Tom eventually woke up and joined us, but not before getting out his bottle of 90 proof vodka. That's when we got out tic tack toe three in a roll, or what ever that game was called. She filled up the shot glasses and who ever didn't win had to drink the three shots that were in a row. Before we knew it we where wasted and laughing our asses off. I looked at the clock and whined.

"It already 9. I don't wanna go home" I said like a three year old.

"It's Friday, so ask your dad if you can sleep over at our place ok." Claire said slurring her words. I jumped up and down, yea that's a perfect idea. I ran to the phone and called.

"Everyone shut up until I get off phone" Everyone nodded and Melissa in a fit of laughter ran out side so she wouldn't get me in trouble. "Hey dad," I said hoping I sounded sober. "Do you think I can stay over at Melissa's place for tonight?" He went off on who is she and all that crap. "She's my new friend, I'll bring her over tomorrow so you can meet her." He agreed and hung up.

I ran out side to tell Melissa its all cool. Before I knew it, it was later and luckily for me, I was quite sober. I drove to Melissa's place and we crashed there. I guess Melissa's mom was over with Claire's mom. We stayed up most of the night smoking and finishing off some vodka Claire put into a water bottle. Everything felt so right and I knew that these where my friends. Maybe it was the booze or the illegalness, but either way I looked at it we were best friends.

We talked the night way being stupid, falling down ,and laughing at how each of us were so fucked up. It was like we were our own little family, the family of drugs and alcohol. As I sat down on the chair I noticed that I never wanted my life to change. I wanted to live like this forever, but something at the back of my mind knew that I couldn't. At that moment I heard a voice, one that I thought was gone.

'Bella, you made me a promise.' I looked around and noticed that he was not there. 'You know you are throwing your life away.' Claire and Melissa gave me a weird look as they saw my face go white.

"Bell, are you ok." Claire said with a frightened look.

"All good babe, just.. Just thought I saw something move." I said hoping that the fact I was really drunk would be ok.

"Your already hallucinate? Shit." Melissa said and before I knew it we where all passed out on her living room floor.

Ok so what do you think. I was rereading new moon and I was all o yea she hears his voice in her head when she is like doing stuff that's dangerous, so I decided to put that in mine. Tell me what you think and thank you to everyone who has reviewed!

ashley


	4. The Hangover Cure

Baby doll gone wrong

Chapter 4: the hangover cure.

I woke up at two in the morning and had to run to the bathroom, but as going in I noticed that Claire was in the bathroom as well. Both of us were pucking our guts out. "I cant believe that I got this drunk." Claire mumbled before leaning over the toilet. I leaned my head against the floor liking the way it helped my headache. It reminded me of 'his' hands. They where always so cold, but I had to make myself not think of him. He never loved me, it was all a lie, and I believed it.

Hours seamed to drag on as we where stuck in this bathroom. I hated this feeling, so why did I got so messed up again? It was fun at the time, but now I was hoping my death would come so I wouldn't have to deal with this. My body felt drained of everything but pain. The pain in my head, and through out the rest of my body as well.

Melissa came bouncing in with a bottle of beer and gave us a look. "Come on, a drink will keep the hangover away." Melissa said getting me up, and making me help up Claire. "Come on, your such pusses."

She bounced away while all I could do was walk ever so slowly trailing behind. I have no clue how she could be so happy this early, and didn't her body hurt like mine? She got a shot of something and told me to take it. I gowned at the thought of more alcohol, Claire sat down at he table and then just fell off. Melissa shook her head while watching me to make sure I took the shot. I did, but it didn't seam to help just made me want to gag at the taste.

Melissa ran into her room and got out some aspirin, " Just take one since you drank, both of these should kill your hangover." I did as she said and waited for it to take effect. Melissa gave it to the passed out Claire, and before I knew it, I felt great. We were sitting down in her living room talking about last night,. We laughed at shit we didn't remember, and none of us remembered going to sleep.

Claire went though her bag and got out a joint, she smiled and said, "He wasn't looking so I rolled one and put it in my bag."

"Sweet, I love you" Melissa said before taking a hit and passing it to me. "Why exactly did your face go white last night?" she asked. I closed my eyes; I was hoping she wouldn't remember that.

"Ok, this is going to sound like I'm a mental patient or something. I heard my x-boy friends voice n my head." Claire looked over at Melissa, but they both gave me a weird look. "I warned you."

"That must have been some good shit last night." Claire said before taking another hit. I didn't say anything else on the subject, and they didn't ask. Eventually we were stoned, and eating food while watching 'speed racer' the people were all jumping out of the screen. Claire got out some more alcohol, and we drank even more.

Before I knew it we were wasted, and it wasn't even 8 am yet. While drinking my third beer, I heard a voice, 'Why are you doing this?' I looked around still confused as to what was going on. I looked at my beer and sighed. I decided it was the beer talking, so I took another swig. 'What about that promise we made.' I closed my eyes, and I prayed it would stop. I took a shot and I almost started to cry as I heard his voice again. 'Stop this!' the voice growled at me. I ran to the bathroom and collapsed on the floor. Tears where building up behind my eye lids, and before I could do anything they fell.

Even with him gone, he still had an effect on me. I whipped my eyes, and made my self look like I didn't cry. Instead I flushed the toilet and told the girls I had the feeling of throwing up. They took it easily without a second thought.

Soon I decided that I needed to go hone and bathe and all of that. They nodded and told me the party tonight. I told them I would try to come, but I had no clue if my dad would let me out. I drove home while still being a little drunk and high, and ran into the house. Charlie wasn't there, so I didn't have to deal with any questions on why I smelt the way I did.

I jumped into the shower and washed up, as I got out I looked in the mirror and I couldn't stand the way I looked. I looked and felt so dirty. Now my escape from him, brought him right back into my head. Why did life have to be so mean to me. No mater what I did it always brings me back down. I ended up punching the stupid mirror as the tears started to some down my face. I sat like that for at lest an hour; I was just crying and holding my hand.

I have no clue how much glass was in there, but I really didn't care. I wrapped it up, and then I went to get dressed. I was on a rebellious streak, and I was going to keep it. Fuck telling Charlie where I was going; I'm 18 ill do whatever I please. I got into my favorite pair of trip pants and a black tank top. I put on a bunch of eye liner and got my car keys.

I ran out to my truck and hurried to seven eleven, I needed a smoke now more then ever. After I bought a pack, I quickly opened it for some nicotine. Who knew that within a few days of smoking my body would be craving it. I got back in my truck and went to get Claire and Melissa. As they said we have another party to hit and more drugs to do.

I drove to another house, one I never been to before, but the second we got there I knew a big party was going on. Cars were parked everywhere and I could smell alcohol and weed all around. As walking in, I noticed no other Mike sitting with some girls on a couch. I couldn't help but laugh at him. Before I knew the time had passed and we were messed up like always. Life was so good when I felt like this, sometimes I wish I would never come down.

Ok so I ended it quickly tell me what you think. O and Edward is coming up soon (yea) lol hope you like it.


	5. The Wrecking

Baby doll gone wrong

Chapter 5: wrecking

Before I knew it months started to pass. Everyday was the same and I couldn't tell when one day began and when one ended. I was never home, and Charlie wasn't home much to do anything about it. I think he started to notice; who didn't really. Everyone in the school knew I was on drugs, so I know it had have somehow gotten back to him.

While pulling out a cigarette, I slowly started my way to the truck. Both Melissa and Claire where already outside waiting. Now a days we were never without the other. When people talked about any of us, they referred to all three. It felt so good to belong somewhere. They were my friends, my sisters, and without them I would be the 'zombie Bella.' I didn't want to live my life like that anymore.

It's been six months since he left, but in six months so much has changed. I wasn't the Bella he knew before; I was a new and improved Bella. A girl who didn't need a guy, a girl who did whatever she pleased, and didn't let anyone get in her way. I liked the new me, and nothing could change that. No one could take away the freedom that I now held, and that freedom felt so good.

We jumped in my truck and left to go to yet another party. Sometimes parting got so boring. It was the same thing every time; we got drunk and high, and I was stuck being Claire and Melissa home. Only now I was so used to doing it, that when I didn't do it, I didn't feel right. If I wasn't high my body would crave the drugs, or the nicotine in my cigarettes.

While I started driving, Melissa put her head on my lap. I smiled down at her, as I started to pet her hair. She was the baby of us all, and she kept us together. I conceder her my best friend, but maybe something a bit more. When ever she asked for anything, it felt like I had to give it to her. When ever I saw her happy, it made me happy.

Everyone was already arriving at the party, and sometimes I wonder if any of these people had a life. Every night it was part after party for these people. I swear some of these people never went home, in fact I wonder if any of them slept. The life of a party manic, you got to love it.

I got off the truck and was soon had Claire on one side and Melissa on the other. Everyone greeted us with a nod or yell. I guess over the last few months we made a name for ourselves. We hung out with the bigger drug dealers, and we even became part of the business.

We walked into the house and walked by everyone into the back room. There we found, as we call him, AZN. He smiled up at us and tossed Melissa a pound of weed. "Sell that and you get a 20 cut." I smiled and nodded as we headed out the door.

Melissa went to some people she knew and sold a bit of it. We were good and not even an hour later we went back into the room and threw all the money on the table. He smiled and gave us our share along with a dime bag of weed. "Have fun girls." He said as we left.

I sat down on a couch as Claire rolled the joint. Melissa rested her head on my shoulder, and I wrapped my arm around her. Claire gave us a look before getting out the lighter and inhaling the sweet, sweet drug. She passed it to me, then the rotation started.

"Puff puff pass with your punk ass." Melissa started to say. Claire and I started to laugh out asses off as she started to sway back and forth on the couch repeating it over and over.

We got into my truck and I slowly started our way back to town. I had a cigarette out and I was trying to concentrate on the road at the same time. I must say multitasking while you are hammered is really beeping hard. I tried so hard stay on the road, but as the drugs made me see one thing, something totally different was going on. Then I went off the road and hit a tree.

Time seamed to pass by really slow as I looked over and saw Claire and Melissa, who trying to shake me awake. They were franticly trying to get me up and to stay awake. "We got to go." I heard Claire yell to Melissa.

"Don't rad us out and give me a call we can bail you out if anything bad happens." I nodded and they ran. As I watched them run off into the woods it finally hit me that I was in a car accident. What the hell happened? Was all that could go through my mind, but before anything else would I heard a siren going off. 'Bella what did I tell you?' I heard his voice again and I started to cry.

The next thing I knew I was being pulled out of the truck by Charlie. As if it couldn't get any worse, he was the one to find me. Somewhere inside my head I noticed that I may have been a bit to messed up to drive.

"Bella!" he yelled as he pulled me out. Why was I so stupid.

"Dad, I…. I'm sorry" I said before everything went black.

Ok, very soon Edward is coming back, I'm so excited!!

Ashley


	6. He's back

Baby doll gone wrong

Chapter 5: He's back

I awoke to the sound of people talking. As I opened my eyes I saw people pushing me down a hall way. Great it's like that ER show. I looked over and saw Charlie talking to the doctors with a look of concern and panic written on his face. I also saw the love in his eyes, and I couldn't help but feel so bad about it. I felt tears go down my face, and I heard a loud sobbing that shook my body.

Charlie looked down at me; I wanted to say so much to him, but I couldn't. His face told me everything I needed to know. He was disappointed in me, and that was something I would have to live with for the rest of my life. The doctors pulled him back and all I could do was stare as they pulled me into another room.

I looked around wondering why everyone was all worried about me, but as I looked down I knew why. There was a tree branch right through my stomach. I was so drunk that I couldn't feel it. The doctors started to talk to me, but again my vision was slipping away. There were doctors all around me, then the world slipped away from me.

I awoke and saw a bright light down on my face. I tried to move, but the only thing that came out was a scream of pain. I had tears fall down my face as I thought of the reason why I was really here. How could I have done this to Charlie. Was all that would run through my mind. No one came to visit me, in fact I wondered if anyone really cared that I was gone. Would anyone care if I killed my self? Does anyone care that I almost died?

Days started to drag on, and before I knew it I was released. Charlie didn't mention anything of it the way back to the house, in fact it was like he tried to avoid it. My truck was outside the house, almost as if this whole ordeal didn't even happen. He even had someone come by and fix it up. I got out the car and went into the house at the fastest pace I was able to make. I went up to my room and laid down on my bed; I just wanted the day to come.

I heard my cell phone ring with the name Melissa coming up. I answered it with a sigh

"Hello" I answered.

"O my gosh how are you? I've missed you so much! I went to the hospital like 10 times. They said you couldn't have any visitors." I felt a smile on my lips. They did care for me.

"It's all good." I said even though I know it really wasn't. "Well, I got to go."

"Ok, can you drive or do you need a ride? My mom got me a car." She said.

"That would be really nice." I said with a smile.

The next morning I awoke, and got ready for school. There I saw Charlie sitting down drinking coffee. I got my food, and we sat in silence. I didn't know what I could say, in fact I didn't know if anything I could say would change anything. Instead I just ate and got ready to leave.

As I put on my eye liner, I heard a hock from outside. I smiled before I started down the stairs . Charlie didn't even seam to look up at me as I left. Has it always been like this? Did the drugs do this to me; leave my life to never talking to my own dad? I griped my bag and ran out of the house.

Melissa smiled at me as I got into the passenger side of the nice black Mitsubishi. "dang girly, your doing good" I aid as I went into the car. The second I did her arms went around me.

"I missed you so much. Some people thought you died!" She said while clutching on to me for dear life. I looked over at her and saw tears going down her face.

"It's ok. It takes more then that to kill me." I said with a smile. She nodded her head, as she drove me to school. I got out and saw everyone look over at me. "I can't do this!" I said as I started to back up. Melissa took a hold of me.

"Yes you can. You have to come back eventually anyway."

"Can I gave a cigarette before I have to go in?" I asked, and without any other words she passed me one. We light one up and I smoked these worries away. I had to go back and face my fears one way or another. I couldn't stay home for the rest of life. I had to take what everyone said, and sallow it.

Then I saw a Volvo pull up into his spot. All color went from my face. "Is there something wrong?" Melissa said to me, but I didn't hear a word coming out of her mouth. I saw 'him' get out and look over at me. I felt panic run though my veins. No, no , no, I did my best to get over him, then the second I do he comes back. I turned around trying to tell my self he was an illusion. When I turned back to look he was still right there looking right at me. "BELL." Melissa yelled to me.

"IM FINE!!" I yelled right back before taking a few more hits then putting it out. She graphed me by my arm and started to pull me into the school. I kept my face down as she pulled me into the building, but I could still feel his eyes on me. It brought a chill up my spine.

I felt as if my world was dissertating. He wasn't meant to see me like this. I went to the bathroom and asked Melissa if she had any pills. I couldn't stay sober through today with him here. She gave me some x and I gladly took it.

Ok, so Edward has shown up at school. Wonder why? Ill tell ya'll next chapter. Ha-ha I'm evil

And thank you to everyone who has reviewed. When I got online 2 day I saw that some people reviewed and I totally did a victory dance around my pool table. Glad to know people like it!!

Ashley


	7. My Love For You Was Strong

Baby doll gone wrong

Chapter 7: my love for you was strong

I walked out of the bathroom, and into my first class. Claire and Melissa were next to me, like always, and everyone was looking at me. I couldn't believe the nerve of these people. I wasn't an animal at the zoo. Then 'he' walked in, and I had to put my eyes back down to my desk. I can't believe that he gets to see me, especially like this.

"Bell, why are you acting so weird?" Claire asked while looking around the room. "Do you want to ditch? These people are just plain rude."

"She cant ditch. She has to get her butt back here, or people will start to think even worse things then what really happened."

"I think everyone knows she was drunk and crashed her truck." Claire said giving Melissa a look. I slammed my head really loud on the desk and finally looked up.

"Guys," I looked over at their faces, but they seamed to be talking. "guys," I added again, but still they didn't look. "GUYS!" I said really loud surprised at how loud my voice was. They both looked over at me with a shocked face. "Chill out. I'm fine and I'm not going to be leaving. Just…"I tried to think of how to say it, "Do you remember what I said about my x?"

"The one that left you?" Claire asked. With a surprised look on her face.

"Yep, well I just saw him. He's back." Melissa's face fell and she looked around the room.

"Which one of these ass holes hurt my Bell." She said, and I put my head down in embarrassment.

"Sit down." I said while pulling her back into her seat. I gave her a dirty look before the teacher walked in and started the lesson. I felt his eyes on me the whole class period, but I was too scared to turn around. Not only that, but why should he even be back. Before I knew it the bell rang and I went to get up. Only problem with that, was the x was starting to take effect. I fell right down on the floor with a huge 'bang.'

Claire laughed while they helped me up. "Is the x to much for you?" Melissa asked while helping me up. I tried to talk, but nothing could come out. Dang these drugs and their side effects. They picked me up, and went to leave, but I felt a tap on my shoulder.

"I'll take her." I heard the voice of my x angel say. Melissa gave me a look but I nodded. Why was I nodding? Melissa decided to hand me over, and as I could tell she was having a hard time trying to hold me. They left and he took me out side. "Bella, what are we going to do with you?"

"Nothing." I said trying to talk right. "You left me last I checked." I said with tears threatening to go down my face.

"Bella, Bella, Bella," He said while shaking his head. I decided that I didn't want to hear another word that was coming out of his mouth. I tried to get up, to move around, but nothing worked. He had a hold of me, and he didn't seam to want to let go.

"Put me down!!" I said. Anyone walking by would of thought I was crazy with the way I was moving and screaming. I wanted him gone. He messed up my life enough as it is, and he was only here to rub my problems in my face. It felt so bad that he say me at a low in my life. I always imagined seeing him again when my life was good, so I could rub it in his face that I made it on top.

"Stop this Bella! Your not helping anything. You're making it harder on yourself." I glared up at him.

"It would be so much easier if you did as I told you earlier. PUT ME DOWN!" I screamed at him. He didn't seamed phased at all. It seamed like I had no control over my body. I was shaking all over and I couldn't stop it. He looked down at me with a sad stare. "Why are you even here? From what you said last time you weren't coming back. Remember your little promise." His face showed discomfort,

"You broke your promise first, remember nothing to hurt your self. I thought you would never snoop to doing this kind of stuff."

I rolled my eyes. "I was doing fine without you." That was a lie if I ever heard one. I tried to sound confident, but he knew I was lying.

"You're fine Bella? That has got to be the understanding of the year. Look at your self. Your on drugs." I shook me head trying to drown out what he was saying. "You can't even stop shaking, and I'm taking you to the hospital."

"NO YOU'RE NOT!!" I screamed. Tears started to go down my cheeks. "I refuse to go." It was more like I was scared shitless; I couldn't stand the thought of hurting Charlie with anymore of my drama.

"You don't have a say in what is going on. You need help." His words hit me hard. The truth burned though my mind.

"No I don't!!" Tears started to go down my face. "I thought you didn't want me."

"I lied. I love you with all my heart."

"LIES!!" I screamed before he put me in his car. I was struggling to get free, when I saw Alice in the car as well. "What the fuck do you think you're doing? I want to go, LEAVE ME ALONE!!" Alice gave Edward a sad look, before holding me down. The tears where going down so fast, and I couldn't stop sobbing. I was struggling to get free. I didn't want help, I didn't need help. There was nothing wrong with me.

"Bella, we are doing this for your own good." I shook me head, while trying to drown her words from head. This had to somehow be a horrible dream, or maybe the drugs were doing this to me. I started to struggle even more, why wasn't this ending I want it all to stop. " Stop trying to get away. It's not going to happen."

"Why did you come back?" I asked with hate in my voice. She looked at me with a frown.

"Didn't you miss me?" Her voice had a sadness to it. As if she was disappointed if I didn't.

"Yes. Only Edward said you were never coming back, and I didn't plan on you ever coming back."

"Yea, well Edward missed you. Then I saw what happened with the drinking and the truck." She shook her head, "You gave us quite a scare." I had more tears gong down my face.

"Please, just let me go." She put her arms off me, and I took my chance by trying to open the door and jump out. It seamed to work out when I thought of it. I opened the door and jumped. Alice got a hold of me and she landed on her back. I got up while she was recovering from the jump to try and make a run for it. Edward seamed to have stopped the car, and he got me before I even took a few steps.

"You're not going anywhere." He said with arms around me. I knew I wouldn't get far, but I had to try.

"Let me go. I don't want to go. Why cant you leave me to my problems, I'll handle my problems my way." I said while still trying to runaway.

"Alice, why did you let her go?" Edward asked her.

"She wasn't thinking of doing it. It was a rash decision." Alice said

"Well now you drive I got her."

"Were are you taking me?" I said still pissed beyond reason.

"We are taking you away for a while. Charlie wanted you to go." I felt numb. Charlie wanted this. So he was the reason they came back. My tears started to come down. "So you came back cause Charlie asked you?"

"We would of come back with or without Charlie talking to us." Alice said.

"So he did." I wanted to run even more now. That ass hole. So that's why Charlie couldn't even look at me before school he knew what was going to happen. I felt so betrayed.

So there you all go! 1441 words for your entertaiment. THANKS 2 EVERYONE who has reviewed! LOVE YOU ALL!!

Ashley


	8. lonely

Baby doll gone wrong

Chapter 8: lonely

We ended up in front of a big plain white building. That's when I noticed where he was talking me, "I'm not going to rehab." I stated. This is where people who had addictions went.

"You make it sound like you have a choice." Edward said as picking me up. I can't believe that this was the same boy I fell in love with. He was evil! He was talking me away from everything I built while he was gone. "This is where you will spend the next couple of months."

"You make it sound like I wont find a way out." I said smugly. Edward looked down at me with a frown.

"Why do you keep on trying to get away? You need this Bella." I did not. I was fine.

"No I don't. You'll leave again, and once you do I'll be going drugs again." He shook his head, as we entered the building.

"I love you Bella. That's why I'm doing this." I tried to block out his voice, but it didn't change a thing. Tears still went down my cheeks.

A lady looked up from her desk, and smiled. "So I take it this is Isabelle Swan." Edward nodded, and she gave him a key. "Room number 4." Edward started up to my room, and I felt helpless. Nothing could change the fact, that I was going to rehab. Nothing I said, or did would change that.

I might have known that it wouldn't change anything, but I still tried to get free. "Edward, please I'm fine. I' not addicted to drugs, in fact I can stop anytime I want." He looked down at me with a look that said 'nice try' , and kept on taking me to the room. "You know, we can do this the easy way, or the hard way." He seamed to laugh at me and my antics.

"I would love to see you try to do something about this." I sighed and tried the last thing I could think of.

"PLEASE!! I'll do anything just don't take me here!!" I screamed. He didn't say anything in fact he kept on looking forward. He was so stubborn. I gave up on trying to make him change his mind. As I said he was being stubborn. I looked around the building, and noticed that this way not at all like those rehab places on TV. "Are you sure you got me in the right place? This place looks too good to be a rehab center."

He looked down at me. "This is more of a private place." He said without much emotion.

"What am I going to do about school? It is my senior year; I don't want to miss anything important." I smiled and acted all innocent. As if I ever really went to school. My grades were almost at straight D's, and I never really went to school in the first place to get good grades.

"I thought of that already. We got lots of work for you to do. Both make up, and future things." I cursed under my breath at the boy. He was good, I'll give him that much. He laughed at me, and set me down outside the room number 4. "Here you are. I'm right next door."

"Wait are you staying here?" I asked totally confused. I thought they isolated you when you where in this kind of place.

"I'm here for moral support." he said with a dazzling look. Damn him and those dazzling moments.

"Who said I needed you here?" I asked with an almost hateful voice, "Haven't you done enough?" He ignored me and put the key in the slot. I walked into the room and sat down on the bed. It wasn't a the best, but it would do. There was a decent size bed, a television, dresser, and my own bathroom. That's when it hit me. "I don't have any cloths!" I yelled.

"I brought them. They are already in the dresser." I sighed and collapsed onto the bed. "Bella, I want to know, why did you start doing these drugs?" I knew this question would come up, but I was almost relentless to say. "Please, I need to know."

"They made me forget about you." I felt like crying as I heard him take a deep breath. "Sometimes, it was only for a short amount of time, but I believed it was worth it." I started to fiddle with my hands, and the room was spinning. The x had yet to wear off, and I felt nuances. I bolted off the bed and ran into the bathroom and threw up all that I had before school. Edward came over with a glass of water. "I'll just throw it up. The drug does that." (And yes it does I would know)

"Bella, what am I going to do with you?" He said shaking his head.

"As I said earlier, leave!" I said with attitude. His face went to more of a frown at my tone.

"You've changed so much. What happened to my Bella? She was never like this." He said in a sad voice. What was he expecting from me, as if I would wait for him.

"She died when you left." I said before throwing up more. I rested my head on the side of the toilet and sighed. I swear when your on drugs, your best friend is a toilet. I left cold hands touch my back and try to comfort me. I should have slapped them away; I should of told him to fuck off and leave.

Only those hands are the ones I've been missing. He was back in my life, and I didn't know for how long. I didn't want to waste any of my time fighting him. Not right now anyway. I needed someone here, someone to hold me and say he cared. He was the one I needed, Edward. My Edward. I was such a wreck that I couldn't see it. Even through all the drugs, I loved him.

I groaned as I realized the truth. He looked up at me, "Do you need anything?"

"Have any aspirin?" I had no clue if that would help me in anyway, but I still asked.

"Do you think its safe to give you this right after your other pill?" I rolled my eyes at him, and gave him a death glare. He shrugged and went to get it. I thought about his question, and figured out that it probably wouldn't be for the best. If I was going to be stuck in here for god knows how long, I wanted to keep this high for as long as possible.

He came back and handed me two pills. I took them quickly and went to lay down on the bed. There I let this extra high go on. Edward looked over at me with an even sadder look. "What?" I asked frustrated at him "I'm here what more do you want?" He didn't say anything, but went to lay on the bed with me. He wrapped his arms around me like he always did, and I couldn't help but feel so bad.

"I didn't know me leaving would do this to you." He said with a frown.

"What did you expect me to do? Be happy and start to jump though a field of flowers?" I tried not to laugh at what I said. I was messed up, but I hope he didn't notice. He looked down at me and sighed.

"Sadly I hoped you would." He said looking at me in the eyes,

"Why would you want me to do that? I loved you, and you up and left." I was close to tears for yet another time today. Why did he make me feel so bad.

"Loved?" He asked shocked that I put a past tense part to that.

"It's going to take more then you showing up after all this time. I love drugs, they made everything better. They were there when you weren't, and they wont up and leave me." It was a stupid reason, but it made all the sense in the world to me. When he left they where there.

"I'll prove to you that I'm not leaving you anymore." He said sincerely.

"I guess only time can tell." I said while letting the high take over my body. I wanted to forget where I was, and let my last high last.

Ok I'm so sorry about how long it took for this. It will come up quicker when I get my laptop back. I have softball, my kid and school right now so it's a little hard. I'll try to update quicker text time!!

Much love to my reviewers, and a internet cupcake!!

Ashley


	9. I Can't Stay Away

Baby Doll gone wrong.

Chapter 9: I cant stay away

Time started to ever so slowly pass by. Days turned into weeks, and weeks turned onto months. I knew that I was close to slipping off the edge. I have the worse withdraw symptoms. I'm constantly having to shake my leg, or hand. I had almost seizure like episodes, and sadly I wasn't the worse of the bunch. Some of these people had some messed up drug addictions.

This guy, tom, was addicted to pain killers. Clarissa was addicted to Meth, and the list keeps on coming. I felt like a goodie to shoes next to some of these people. They went years on years doing drugs, and here I was with not even a years experience. "Bella, would you like to share?" The counselor asked.

"Share what?" I asked since I was totally zoned out.

"An experience, what else." Said the smart mouth girl in the group. I think her name was Sahara. I gave her a death glare

"Then no I'm good." I didn't like to share my problems with the 'class'. I never did when I was asked.

"How are we to help you, if you don't speak up?" The counselor asked. I felt a laugh ripple though me. Does she also think I need help. When will people see that I'm fine the way I am. Drugs and all.

"Easy, I don't need help. I want to be let out." I felt like I was a prisoner in here, and I know I already paid my crime.

"I'm sorry, but we can't do that." she said with a fake smile. I wanted to so badly rip it off her face, but I had to remind myself not to.

"Thought as much. When I get out, and I ever see you on the street, run." I said back and started to look at the floor. I knew later on Edward wouldn't be so happy at how I decided to not participate, and with what I did say.

Edward was almost always with me, and I felt bad about that everyday. I was allowed on contact with Melissa and Claire. I felt like a prisoner, trapped in my own personal hell. Out of no where I got a letter, and I saw it was from none other then Melissa. I went into the bathroom to read it.

_Hey Bella,_

_We miss you so much. Nothing is really the same without you here. We have come up with a plan. Are you ready for it? We are going to bust you out. Isn't that that most exciting news you have heard lately. After we bust you out, we are so going to party! Ask him to go get you some chips, what ever you can get that's down the hall or something. I'll be out side in the lobby at exactly 4:41. We will get you out from there. Worse comes to worse, we get caught and I do community serves or something._

_Love you and miss you bunches!!_

_Melissa_

I jumped up and down and couldn't wait. I was so sick of this stupid place, and this stupid non drug community. I knew that once I did this there would be no return. That once I busted this place, that I would officially be on the run. I just hoped to get by Edward without any complications. I tried not to think about the pain I would be bringing him. He wanted me to get better, but I don't want to get better. I want to enjoy the life I made for myself.

I took a deep breath and stuck the letter in my bra. I looked at myself in the mirror and tired to think of anything other then what I was going to be doing later on. I didn't him to be able to see the difference in me. I went back out to my room and laid down on the bed. I looked over at the clock it was almost 4 now. I sighed and waited for the time to pass by. I wondered if I could do it. Edward would be so disappointed, but I needed the freedom. Was it right to make myself miserable for him?

As the time slowly went by I was closely watching the clock. Edward came in around 4:20. I had to plan the right time to ask him to leave and get me something, so for the last 10 minuets I was thinking of something to say. He watched me with suspicion in my eyes, and I had a feeling like he was trying to read me. I'm so happy that he can't read my mind, or I would be so screwed.

"So I heard about what you said to the group counselor."

"And?" I said trying to not show my feelings.

"That was a bit rude." Like that was any of his business.

"Really I was going for overly rude. I'll have to try harder."

"Bella." He frowned at me, but I didn't say anything else. We sat in a comfortable silence.

It was 4:38, and I decided to ask him the favor that I wanted a Pepsi. The machine is in the totally different side of the building. He nodded and started to leave. Since there were cameras and all that, he had to move at the normal human speed. I was so happy about that, because it gave me enough time to try and escape. He left, and about a min after he left I quickly ran down the stairs and into the lobby where I saw Melissa and Claire. Melissa gave me the hugest hug ever. "We got to run before Edward comes!" I exclaimed. They nodded and we jumped into Melissa's sweet ride. As we where driving off, I saw none other then Edward look out from the window as we drove off. I felt a pain of regret for what I did, but I needed to get out. Out side of that stupid little place I had freedom, and I don't want to leave that freedom behind.

I felt alive again, as if I existed. I forgot how much fun being out really was. "We missed you so much!" Melissa said with a smile. "I don't ever want to let you leave again."

"I wouldn't mind that. I missed you all so much, but first do any of you have a cigarette?" I said flashing a smile.

"Yep Yep." Melissa said while pointing to the ash tray. There was not only a pack of cigarettes, but there was a joint already rolled.

"Got that just for tonight, Chronic." Claire said with a smile. I felt like jumping up and down in my seat, and I think I might have.

"Have I ever told you that I love you guys?" They nodded, "Well, ill say it again, I love you guys!!"

Ok so yea, she excaped. So if u havn't noticed Melissa is the Jacob. As in the person who put Bella back 2gether after Edward left.

Anyway, I hope u all like it.

Ashley


	10. you just might get it

Baby doll gone wrong

Chapter 10: you just might get it

I light up a cigarette and listen as Melissa and Claire go on about everything I've missed. Tom was arrested with a driving while intoxicated, aka DWI. Now he had to come up with 600 dollars by the end of next month, or its jail time. "So, how was rehab?" Claire said with a smile. Melissa gave her a death glare and a slap on the arm.

"It was ok. I hated being there, and I felt so clean compared to what everyone else did there." I said while taking a hit.

"That's because we're normal. Everyone does drugs for a few years, and only the messed up people go to even harder drugs. We would never let that happen." Melissa said with a smile. We eventually got to a trailer house. " I love you too much." I smiled back at her, and I saw her quickly look back at the road with a blush.

"Who's place is this?" I asked. It looked run down, as of no one cared about the house at all. Melissa parked the car, and we got out. Claire saw the look on my face and laughed.

"This is Ma's place." I gave Claire and even more confused look. "She's one of Tom's friends. She just moved up here a few months ago."

"How long have I been gone exactly?" I asked knowing it would be a long time. In rehab days sort of blended together. It seamed like a day would go by, when in reality it may have been a week. Between the black outs and all that fun withdraw symptoms, you sleep a lot.

"It's been four months." Melissa said while looking up at me. I couldn't believe so much time has passed by. I saw what looked like a tear slide down her check. I quickly moved, and we wrapped our hands around each other. "Four very long, and very hard months." She put her head on my shoulder, and I felt her sobbing.

I wanted to tell her that everything would be alright, but I knew better. "I'm here." I said while I pulled her out of my embrace. "I'm here." I wiped the tears coming down her cheek. She gave me and encouraging smile, and I gave her yet another hug. Holding her the way I did, I noticed a weird feeling inside. It was as if, me holding her is where I was meant to be.

"Cut the lovey shit lets go get high." Claire said while passing us by. _She never changes I thought with a smile. We walked up to the house/trailer and Claire knocked. A middle age women answered the door. "Hola Ma." Claire said while giving her a hug. Melissa did the same. "This is Bell. The one who was in rehab." I glared at Claire, but didn't say a word. Glad to know that I was concerted the 'one from rehab.' _

"_Sorry, but that's how you're known now a days." Melissa said while looking down a the floor. _

"_I'm glad to meet you." Ma said with a smile. "Claire and Melissa have told me so much about you." _

"_I hope not too much." I said smiling. She chuckled slightly. She let us in, and there we found even more people. _

"_Everyone, Bella is back." Melissa said while dragging me around. I was attacked with hugs, and people asking question after question. Ma got out some weed, and we smoked out of a bong. I got greens, first hit, and smelled the sweet intoxicating smell. It was like a forest smell that invaded your very being. Everybody took hits after hits. Even when I knew that I was higher then high, I couldn't resist. It was like a car, once your going top speed you can't just quit. _

_During my high I looked around at everyone, when something hit me. A shiver ran up my spine, and that ruined my entire high. I was not only high, but wasting my life away. The little voice in the back of my head was screaming at me to stop. I thought of Edward and everything he has done for me. I was so caught up in my own problems, that it didn't matter that he was there. The problem is that even though I know where he is, I miss him. I wanted to feel whole again, and that only happens when he is here. _

_People where laughing and having a good time, and here I was in my own self pity. I felt a tear slide down my cheek. I got up and left. No one followed me, and I didn't want anyone to. I got a few smokes from Melissa's car and started the walk. I had to get back to him. Without him everything was gray. _

_It was crazy, I knew it was. I should be enjoying the freedom I had. I should be out having the best time of my life. I light up a cigarette and continued to walk. I was about five miles out, when I realized that I had no clue where the hell I was. I sighed and thought over going back. If I did I would probably get wasted and pass out. I didn't want that, and that's when I saw head lights of a car. The car was going supper fast, and I knew exactly who it was. Edward was out to pick me up. He did a U- turn and parked right next to me. I was still smoking a cigarette, and didn't know if I should go in or not. He rolled down my window instead._

"_Get in." He said. He didn't even sound mad. I gave him a weird look. Why isn't there yelling, the whole your high and you need to get clean stuff. _

"_I'm smoking." I said holding up my cigarette. He rolled his eyes and sighed. _

"_Just get in." I shrugged my shoulders and got in. He sped off, and I closed my eyes. I was waiting for some kind out yelling to take place. He didn't even say a word. I could hear the wind outside the car going by real fast. The silence was so uncomfortable, and I felt tension in the air. I thought about smoking yet another cigarette, but I didn't want to push my luck. _

"_Aren't you going to yell at me?" I asked. I had to say something to break this uncontrollable silence._

"_Now why would I do that?" I was waiting for it, maybe hopping on it as well. _

"_I stuck out, I'm high, and … I don't know, but I know you should be yelling right now." I said while trying to get out of the high a bit so I could talk. It didn't work much, and he just gave me a look. _

"_We will talk, but then you will be sober." He said and I groaned. He had almost a smile on his face._

"_Do you find me amusing or something?" I said back at him. He jumped slightly, but kept on looking forward. "Stupid vampires, and their … whatever they have, yea." I decided to shut up and not say anything. Anyone could look at me and tell I was high. If I spoke it was worse, but I still had to add something in there. "You know I never asked, what have you been.. um doing since you.. left" I said, though I wanted it to come out as more of a question. _

"_Nope you haven't asked." He said _

"_I'm asking now, um what did I ask again." I thought for a few seconds before it hit me, "O yea, what have you been doing since you left?" _

_Ok, so this is going to be her turn around. But I will say that even the best people relapse. Ha-ha_

_ANYWAY, _

_Hope you all like it!!_

_Ashley _


	11. I Can't Give Up

Baby doll gone wrong

( ONLY 6 more days till Breaking Dawn!!)

Chapter 11: I can't give up

We sat in silence the rest of the way back. He sniffed the air a few times, and his face looked hurt, as if it pained him to even smell. I thought over why for about twenty minuets, and then it hit me. He could smell the weed on me, or in my blood stream.

I tied to start a conversation with him more the one time, but every time I tired he just tightened his hold on the wheel and looked forward. He was a ticking time bomb, just waiting to go off. I just happen to be the one he would go off on too. Shame seamed to overwhelm me, and the pain of what I've done to people all around me was hitting me like a truck.

I felt tears start to go down my face, but all I could do was look down. Edward looked over me, and his eyes seamed to go softer. I couldn't stand the thought of him trying to comfort me. I turned and looked out the window and thought more about what I've done. I didn't give a rats ass about anyone else, and look where I was. What would happen to me in a few years? Would I still be stuck in this stupid town, doing these drugs? The thought of it made even more tears come down my face. I was going to be a bum if I didn't get help.

"Bella, what's wrong? I can't stand the sight of you crying." Edwards voice seamed so sincere. He really meant every world, but every word of it made me feel worse.

"How can you even look at me? After all I've done. I hurt you over and over, I hurt everyone over and over. I'm a drug addicted monster." I said with even more pain. My own words seam to start breaking me down. Every word that came out was the truth, and I needed the truth. I needed to wake up from my little world, and take a look at what was around me.

"I can't give up on you Bella." He answered back with a sad grin. It looked forced and not something to be done at this kind out a time.

"Why can't you?" I answered back. I would have given up on myself by now. I was a wreck, and I didn't deserve anyone helping me.

"I love you, and I can't stand the thought of you doing this to your self. " I felt even more tears some down. How could he say something like that to me. I was a monster, I destroyed everything I ever had.

" How can you love me?" I asked with a desperate voice. "Don't you see what I've done. I've ruined my life, and nothing I do can save me from it."

His face became even more serious. "I always have Bella, and I will never give up on you. I was the one who left you, and made you resort to this." He said, and I felt even worse.

"So, your doing this because you feel guilty." I yelled back at him. "Fuck you." I yelled out. He looked over at me.

"What did you just say to me?" His voice seamed to get angry at me, and I smiled. I wanted him to yell. I needed someone to yell at me, and tell me how fucked up I am. I needed more pain; I caused so much of it that it came like a second nature.

"You heard me, fuck you." I said before I knew what happened he slammed on his breaks and turned over to look at me. I had my eye browns raised and a grin plastered on my face. He started at me, and I knew he was trying to read me. Minutes passed and I started to get pissed. "Yell at me already. Do something I just cussed at you." He shook his head and we started to move again.

I was beyond pissed. He wouldn't yell at me. My jaw was dropped , and I looked ahead. Any one else would of screamed at me, maybe even kicked me out of the car, but not him. He just took it and kept on driving. I wanted him to yell at me. He never did, never once have I pissed him off enough to yell at me. I wanted him to cuss me out. To call me a druggie, and to say he hates me. I wanted him to tell me that I'm not going to do anything with my life. I wanted to be… to be punished for everything I've done.

The ride home was now quite, and none of us dared to talk. He seamed to be going though the thoughts in his head. His face would occasionally show emotion, but before I could uncover which emotion, his face was hard as stone.

We ended up in front of the rehab center yet again. "I can't keep taking you back here Bella." I jumped at his voice. "You have to make up your mind. I can't make it up for you." He turned to me, and his face was soft and filed with concern. "Do you want to get better, or do you want to be on drugs for the rest of your life? Alice's visions show you with me, or back on drugs. I refuse to be here if you will go back to that life style." I had tears going down my face. Every word he said hit me harder and harder. "I love you Bella, but you must choose. Drugs or me." I couldn't look up. I know I wanted him, but the thought of a life without drugs was hard. I would never feel the high, the sweet bliss that held me together.

"If I choose you, do you promise not to ever leave me again?" I asked with fear in my voice. I didn't want to be rejected again, and I sure as hell didn't want to get better then have to fall back onto the drugs because of him leaving. I needed help, and I knew that. Without him being here I have nothing to live for.

"You're scared that I will leave you?" He asked. I could only nod. His arms wrapped around me, and he help me close. "I promise I'll never leave you." I felt safe, but those world were used before.

"That's what you said last time." I answered back. My heart was racing, and I tried to calm it down. If I could, I would spend the rest of my life in his arms.

"You have to trust me." He answered back. He wanted to talk about trust; he who left me after he said he wouldn't.

"I did, and look where we are." I said very softly as more tears started to go down my face. I was an emotional wreck, and he blamed it on himself. I didn't need the ability to read minds to know that.

"Bella, please I won't leave. Last time I said I would leave if it was good for you. That I could walk away if it came to your safety. Now I see that if I'm not here worse things will happen. If you stay clean, I won't ever leave. I can't bear to know that your in that state." I nodded before yawning. I could have argued with him, but I'll save that for another day. "I think it's time for someone to go to bed."

"I agree, but one thing first. Why did it take you so long to save me from myself? I was on drugs for months, and you just 'popped' out of no where." I said while trying to keep my eyes open.

"I told Alice not to tune into you. I told her that I didn't want her looking into your future, and I trusted you to keep that promise. Then Alice saw you crash the truck, and I knew I had to come. When I did get here, I heard about all the drugs from Charlie. He begged for us to help you." I nodded, not really wanting to argue. I guess Charlie knew all along that I was on drugs. Here I was thinking I was hiding it so well, when in reality he knew. "He's a cop Bella; he is trained to see the sine's of using."

"Can you take me upstairs? I'm to tired and probably to high to walk right now." He nodded before picking me up, and bringing me inside. I didn't remember who we walked by, or even if we did walk by anyone. All I knew was I felt a soft surface beneath me. Then I felt covers being pulled over me. "Stay Edward." I said and he sighed.

"I will always be here." He answered, and I felt his cold body lay next to mine.

Ok so sorry about how long it took me to write the chapter. I went to water world, and got the worse sunburn in the history of sun burns. It was bad, but I did get this done as soon as I could… ok I probably could of gotten it out yesterday, but I get my laptop Wednesday, so I'll be able to write a LOT quicker. and this is my longest chapter whoot!!

Thanks to everyone who has reviewed, you make my day!!

Ashley


	12. Whats Going On Inside His head

Baby doll gone wrong

Ok so BellaandEdwardLover asked for a Edward point of view, so I'm going to write one in Edwards point of view.

Chapter 12 : What's going on in his head

(FYI this is right after Bella falls asleep in chapter 11)

I watched as she dozed off, and I was happy. Is it so wrong to be happy at the fact that I have the love of my forever existing life in my arms? I left complete as I heard his heart beat. It might have been irregular because of all the drugs in her system, but I could care less. She was my everything, and without the world seamed even more dark then it already was.

If I knew leaving her would have but her though so much, I wouldn't have left. I thought she would be so much better without me, but I was wrong. I can never criticize Romeo, love was complicated. I made even more mistakes then Romeo did, but at lest I come back before anything worse happened. At lest I think I came back in time. I still have a chance of saving her, at lest that's what Alice says. I pray she is right, because I can't stand the thought of a day without Bella.

Bella turned in her sleep and I heard her mutter "Melissa." Before snuggling closer to me. I closed my eyes, and tried to block that name out. I could tell she cared deeply for this girl, but I wonder how deep. From Melissa's thoughts I caught.. Love. Melissa was in love with my Bella, and I couldn't do a thing about it. Would it be so bad for her to be with a human?

I knew that when I left she might move on, but I prayed she might not. It's wrong I know, I left so that she could move on, but I still was selfish. Was it the fact that it was a girl? No I told my self, it was the who she turned my Bella into. She turned her into a drug addict, and one a really addicted one at that. Without this Melissa, what would I have came back to see? Would she be worse, or better. Then another thought hit me, without her I wouldn't even be here.

Bella never would have gotten in a car accident, she never would have be doing drugs, and I wouldn't of needed an excuse to go back to her. I was dying inside with out Bella, but without her I never would have known.

From Melissa I found out that she tried to kill herself. My Bella believed that a life without me was worse then no life at all. If I could cry I knew I would have. I wish I never left, because leaving was the worse thing I have ever done to her.

That time when I saw her in school I wanted to cry out. The first time I saw her, she was smoking a cigarette. Then in class when she was high.

Flash back

_I saw her fall down right on the floor. "Is the x to much for you?" The girl, Melissa asked. I watched the scene play out in front of me. I was supposed to her go to school for the last day, but I couldn't stand seeing her like this I had to get her out. _

"_I'll take her." I said and her 'friends' handed her over to me. I held her, and we started to walk out. "Bella, what are we going to do with you." _

"_Nothing." Her voice came out all wrong. She didn't even speak like my Bella, what did a few months do to her. "You left me last I checked" That hit me hard. I looked down to see her close to tears._

"_Bella, Bella, Bella" I shook my head, and I felt her trying to get up, she tried to get away from me. I would have none of that, she needed help. If I was the one who had to tell her, then so be it. _

"_Put me down!!" She yelled, while still struggling to get away. Everyone who could see this scene didn't even care. Everyone thought that I was doing the right thing. Did everybody know about her drug problems? It seamed so. _

"_Stop this Bella! Your not helping anything. You're making it harder on yourself." I said trying to make her stop struggling. She needed help. Not only that, but the drugs where making her over react. She needed to calm down before she had an heart attack_.

"_It would be so much easier if you did as I told you earlier. PUT ME DOWN!" She didn't seam to understand anything, and she was starting to shake. I had to calm her down and fast. "Why are you even here? From what you said last time you weren't coming back. Remember your little promise." I had guilt over whelm me. I did tell her that she would never see my face again. _

"_You broke your promise first, remember nothing to hurt your self. I thought you would never snoop to doing this kind of stuff." I answered back. At lest she was sort of calming down. The shaking was lessened, but it was still there. _

"_I was doing fine without you." I wanted to laugh at that. She was fine; has she looked at her self in the mirror? She had bags under her eyes, and it looks like she hadn't eaten in months. _

"_You're fine Bella? That has got to be the understanding of the year. Look at your self. Your on drugs. You can't even stop shaking, and I'm taking you to the hospital."_

"_NO YOU'RE NOT! I refuse to go." I tried not to over react. She was not telling me that she was not going to get help. She needed it, and without it she would die sooner or later. _

"_You don't have a say in what is going on. You need help." _

"_No I don't!!. I thought you didn't want me." I left a pain go through me. She really thought that I didn't want her. _

"_I lied. I love you with all my heart." I said with emotion in every word. I wanted her to know that I loved her. Even with the drugs, she was still my Bella. I just had to give her help. Soon she would be back to my Bella._

"_LIES!!" She screamed. It was a slap in the face that how she yelled it. Like she knew I didn't, when I really did. I put her in the car with Alice. I guess she saw this one coming. "What the fuck do you think you're doing? I want to go, LEAVE ME ALONE!!" Then she started to cry. Rivers seamed to run down her cheeks, and I wanted to wipe them. I couldn't though, she needed help._

"_Bella, we are doing this for your own good." I heard Alice say, while I was starting up the car. " Stop trying to get away. It's not going to happen." _

"_Why did you come back?"_

"_Didn't you miss me?" Alice voice sounded sad. _

"_Yes. Only Edward said you were never coming back, and I didn't plan on you ever coming back."_

"_Yea, well Edward missed you. Then I saw what happened with the drinking and the truck." I looked in the mirror and saw Alice shake her head, "You gave us quite a scare." _

"_Please, just let me go." She did just that, and before I knew it she was flinging her self out of the car. Thank lord, if there is any, that I was not going over 60 yet. I slammed on the breaks and got out in a flash. She was trying to run away. Did she already forget about our supper speed? Guess it was time for a friendly reminder. _

"_You're not going anywhere." I said as a gapped her and started to take her back to the car. Why was she being so.. Grr. She was trying to get away, as though I was going to kill her or something. _

"_Let me go. I don't want to go. Why cant you leave me to my problems, I'll handle my problems my way." _

"_Alice, why did you let her go?" I said totally ignoring her_

"_She wasn't thinking of doing it. It was a rash decision." Alice said. I shot her a glance. 'I didn't see it I swear' Alice sent to me and I shook my head slightly. _

"_Well now you drive I got her." I said while getting back into the car. _

"_Were are you taking me?" I didn't want to tell her right now. In fact, I didn't even want to take her at all. _

"_We are taking you away for a while. Charlie wanted you to go." I didn't want to get into much into the details. When in fact we came back and he just happen to tell us about how much of a drugie she was. He didn't know what to do with her. He didn't want to send her to jail. _

"_So you came back cause Charlie asked you?" I left a pain again. _

"_We would of come back with or without Charlie talking to us." Alice said. _

"_So he did." We ended up in front of a big plain white building. That's when she noticed where I was going to take her. I saw it written on her face that this would take a while "I'm not going to rehab." _

"_You make it sound like you have a choice." I said while I was picking her up. "This is where you will spend the next couple of months." I stated to her_

"_You make it sound like I wont find a way out." I looked down at her with a frown. Did she just admit that she was going to leave? Like I would every leave her alone long enough for that to happen. _

"_Why do you keep on trying to get away? You need this Bella." _

"_No I don't. You'll leave again, and once you do I'll be going drugs again." I shook my head. "I love you, Bella. That's why I'm doing this." She started to cry, and I prayed that I was doing the right thing. _

_End flash back_

_I wanted her to be happy, but I also wanted her clean. Is it too much to ask. I guess only time can tell of anything will ever be the same. _

_Ok that was a quick write. Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed a glimpse into Edward's mind. There will be more (I just decided that as writing it lol) I like writing Edwards point of view. So ill do t every couple of chapters now (ha ha ) and I think I may do some in Melissa's point of view.. O yea, I'm going to get working on Melissa's point of view right now. (lol) _

_Thanks 4 all the reviews!! Love you all_

_Ashley _


	13. O Where, O Where Can She Be

From:jacobsgirl20

Hey! Great update!Out of curiosity... where is Jacob during all of this? Does he know? Just wondering! Ok so Jacob is there, but Bella never went on that whole lets fix the bikes things (lol) so she never went over to talk to him. I think I may put a quick appearance of him, but again just a thought.

Ashley 

Baby doll gone wrong

( Melissa point of view )

Chapter 13: O where O where can she be?

( FYI: Ok so this a little bit after Bella left. Like when she was in the car with Edward)

I stood up and looked around for Bell. She was just right next to me, and right after I went through my trip, she was gone. Maybe she was in the bathroom? I got up and looked, but instead I found Claire with some boy. Wow I did not need to see that. I shut the door, and began my search. I looked in every room, until I came to the reality that she left. Why would she leave me? We just got her out of that gosh dang hell hole she was at. Rehab, the thought made me shutter.

I went out to my car, and looked around. Some of my cigarettes where missing. I felt like crying. She left me. It hit me so hard, and I found my self putting my head on the steering wheel. I sighed, and started to think.

Within all those thoughts a name came up. Edward. He must have taken her back. He took my love away. That's right I love her. I've loved her since we first meet. Ok maybe not loved her, but I know it did happen. Between the partying and talking, I found my self falling in love with her. She was so innocent, and she was always there for me. Now she was taken away, and I found my self in a world of hurt.

I put the pieces back together when he left; hoping I could somehow make her love me. I know she did, deep down, and if he never came back I would have her. I know I would. He left Bella in pain, and I gave her something to relive that pain. I helped her get through nights on nights, and the dreams that she screamed out about.

Flash back

_I awoke to a screaming sound. It wasn't like a scream from hurting your self, oh no it was far worse then that. It was a pain filled scream; one that someone who was being tortured might make. I got up and looked around, until my sight landed on Bell. She was rolling around as though someone was going to kill her. _

" _JAMES" She screamed out, as though he was going to kill her. "Take me, leave Edward alone." Now I was frightened. What happened to this girl for her to be like this. _

"_Bell, it's ok. Everything will be alright." I said as I went to comfort her. I put my arms around her, and held her tight. She seamed to relax in my arms. _

"_I love you Edward." She said, and I felt pain though my chest. I felt tears starting to go down my face. She called out his name, of all names. I was about to move, when I heard her say, "Don't go. I don't want to be alone." She was still sleeping, but I felt like I had to obey her. _

_As long as she needed someone by her side, I would be there. She was everything I've ever wanted, but I could only wish I was a fraction of what she wanted. _

_End flash back _

_We would stay up for hours talking about everything, and everything in our lives. I knew she still loved that bastered who left her, but I never thought he would come back. Now that he has, it's a whole new playing field. I had to try even harder to get her. _

_Without her my world just wasn't the same. From the first day I meet her in the lunch room, I knew she was different. She held her self as though she was just trying to breath, and her eyes had a pain. A pain that I knew would never go away, but I knew that I had to try and help her. That's why I came up to her, and that's why I introduced her into my world. I wanted to fix her in the only way I knew how. _

_My whole life was filled with drugs. My dad was a big drug dealer in the US, and ever since then my mom has been trying to keep me away form the drug life. It caught up with me, and because of who my dad was, I made many friends. It always haunts me, on how people I never meet, would know my name. More importantly, they knew my dad. It was a small and crazy world, and I was smacked right in the middle of it. I only had friends though drugs, and I was sick of it. Another reason I was happy to move to Forks. I hoped I could start of fresh, and make a new name for myself. Here I was though, still partying, and still make the same mistakes. _

_I gave up on thinking, I was sick of feeling sorry for myself. I wanted Bell, and I needed her in my life. I would give up anything, and everything if she would choose me. If only she would, until then I needed something. I could never forget her, but the drugs would at lest help me deal of a life without her. _

_I got out of the car, and found tears going down my face. I wiped them away, and went back inside the house. Time for some more dugs, I was starting to feel normal again. Only problem is, I didn't want to feel normal, if my Bell wasn't there. _

_Ok so I wrote that one, I little glimpse into Melissa's mind. It's short I know, but I got the main thoughts out that I wanted to show. She loves Bell/ Bella. _


	14. La, La, La

Ok a little side note:

So Melissa is like Jacob in the other books. She loves Bella, the same way Jacob dose in the series. Difference is she is… I think ill make her BI idk but the important part is Melissa is like Jacob in that sense. I really don't know who is going to be with who yet. It's an internal battle at the moment.

**Anyway, it's back to Bella's point of view!! **

O and 4 more days until breaking dawn

:fan girl squeal:

Baby doll gone wrong

Chapter 14: la, la , la

I awoke within the room u came to hate. All four walls where white, without any kind of design on them. I sighed as I looked around. I heard Edward in the bathroom, why he was there I have no clue. He came out with a towel in his hand. "I think you may want to go take a shower."

"Why would you say that?"

"You smell like drugs, and it gives me a head ach." Edward said truthfully. How could I be made at him? He was the most perfect guy out there. Even though he just said a rude comment, one which I would hit anyone else for, I couldn't help the smile that went across my face. I got up and went into the bathroom. My head hurt, but I tried to brush it off. I was back here, but why did I come back.

It was that vampire hold he had on me. I loved him, and I couldn't stand not being with him. He was everything I've ever wanted in a guy, and more. I jumped into the shower and washed up. I still felt some of last night's high as I worked shampoo into my hair.

I finish cleaning up my body, and began to dry off. As I wrapped the towel around me, I saw big scars along my legs. I shuttered at the memory that made those scars. I quickly put my cloths on, and Edward brought me to my group session.

I took my usual seat, and looked at everyone. No one new was in, and everyone just so happen to be looking at me. I guess my runaway episode was gossip around the Rehab center. I sighed and looked around the room. I found myself looking into this glass window thing. It looked like on of the ones you see in a cop TV show. I laughed at the thought, and looked around at anything to catch my attention for the remainder of the session.

I was interrupted from my zone out with the councilor calling my name. "Bella, would you like to share anything?" I shook my head and started to look around again. "Bella, you need to start talking in group. It's important to share your story, and have people who understand you."

"Understand me?" I said looking around the room. I have no clue why, but I seamed to be a bit mad. "No one can ever understand me." I said with a glare.

"Why don't you at lest try?" I sighed and shook me head. Would she ever give up?

"Fine, what should I talk about?"

"How about the beginning?" The councilor said, "Why you started doing drugs."

"Ok," I said going off into my story.

Flashback

(I know this is like the 3 chapter in a row with flash backs it will end soon lol )

_I felt numb. Edward just left me, and I couldn't even think straight. Days passed in a blur, and I didn't move. I stayed in my bed, and started at the wall. I was lifeless, and I didn't even care. He was gone, and everything that I had of his was whipped away. 'It will be as if I was never here' Rang though my head. _

_Eventually I got up, and went to the bathroom. I looked into the mirror and saw well me. I was filthy, and my eyes where red. I didn't even notice that it was me for a while. I got undress and jumped into the shower. I stood there lost at what I should do. Nothing seamed to work right with him not here. I sat down and let the water run over me. I sat there for god knows how long, until I finally washed myself. _

_I got up and I still looked as though I was someone else. Then I opened the mirror to the file cabinet behind it. There I saw pills, bottles and bottles of pills. Would it be so wrong to take one, maybe two? I looked at what they where, many being prescription ones. There I picked up oxide profane._

(ok idk how to spell it but doctors give it to you a REALLY strong pain killer that makes you high as beep, I would know lol )

_I took off the child proof lid and took two. I looked around the bathroom and waited. I wanted this to hit me, and I knew it would hit my soon. About 15 minuets later everything started to move. It looked as though the walls and even the floor was breathing. I started to move to the door handle, but I kept missing it. I tired again and again, until I felt my hand hit the knob. I opened it up and saw the hall way. I was falling all over the place. I ran into the wall and ended up falling down the stairs. _

_I herd Charlie get up and move over to me. "Bella, are you ok?"_

"_Fine" I said with a smile on my face. He looked over at me with a questioning look._

"_Bella… are you high?" He asked with fear in his voice. I closed my eyes and thought, What to tell him, what to say._

"_Maybe." I blurted out. I opened my eyes. What did I just say, no I didn't want to say that. _

"_MAYBE??" He asked/yelled and me. I sighed and got up._

"_I'm joking" I said putting on a fake smile. "Do you really think I would do something stupid like that. I just tripped on my way put of the bathroom. I just took a shower, so my balance is even worse then normal. Wet feet." I said. Wow I could lie, and I could lie good… Well whatever. I got back up and shook me head. "No problems here."_

"_OK." Charlie said still giving me a look that thought that said other wise. _

"_Love you night." I said making my way back up the stairs. That was close too close for comfort. New rule: only do drugs while I'm in my room. That way no problems.. Right?_

_End Flash Back _

"_That was the begging of a whole new me." I said looking around the room at all the faces. No one talked, "I didn't start weed till later on when I got new friends, but it began the change into who I am today." _

_Ok I hope you all like it!! 2moro I get my laptop!! Yea and I should be able to write longer chapters cause then I wont have the rest of my family trying to get on every 5 seconds (annoying little bro) _

_Hope you all liked it!!_

_ashley _


	15. DD

Ok quick author note: my lap top Is being GAY!! Like it wont log me in(My school provides them) and yea… I'm pissed like no other. So I don't know when I can get it fixed, probably when school starts, (aka like 2 weeks. )

Anyway, 3 more days until breaking dawn, I might go to one of the breading dawn parties with some friends!! I love book parties!! Anyway, ill get back to the chapter!!

Baby doll gone wrong

Chapter 15: D.D.

Group was over, and I couldn't feel happier. I was finally away from the tense atmosphere. Half of the time everyone decided to look at me. I felt like an animal in a zoo. While getting up I heard "Hello." I found myself jumping from fright.

"O god." I said back holding my thumping heart. Where the hell did this guy come from. I looked him over, jet black hair, and he looked.. Mexican or something along those lines.

"I'm sorry did I frighten you?"

"Just a bit." I answered back while trying to lower my heart beat.

"Again, I'm sorry. So you finally spoke in group." He said with a smile.

"Yes it seams I have." I said giving him a smile right back. We started to walk into the lunch area, and he opened the door for me. Gentlemen I like.

"I heard about you running off."

"Yea, I had a rebellious streak going on there." I said while getting some food from the line.

"Well next time you think of running off hit me up." He said and I found myself laughing.

"I don't think that will happen again. I really need to quit everything. Have you ever thought about what would happen to you in the next few years if you kept on doing drugs?"

"Yea, it can be scary. Weed comes from the ground, and many people, big people in the world smoked weed." I found my self about to laugh. "No really, think everyone who was ever big the world was like us. They had problems, and they worked it out."

"This is the place to work it out." I said. He was one of those stoners who believed that weed should be legalized. I could tell just by the way he talked about drugs. I still found my self talking to him though. He was easy to be around, and I liked his personality. Well, ok he may have been hot on top of that, but it's not all I was looking at.

"So why did you come back?"

"I love someone, and when you love someone you do anything to make yourself better. I was sick of doing the same shit every day, and I needed my love."

"So who is this love of yours?"

"His name is Edward. In fact he is here somewhere." I said looking around the crowd.

"Is he on the staff?"

"Lol no." I said laughing after words. Lol who says lol in a conversation?

"Did you just say lol?" He asked with a look of horror. I wonder that question myself. I guess it just slipped out of my mouth. How convenient.

"Maybe I just did, and I'll do it again and again." I ended up laughing at his facial expression. "He is here for moral support." He nodded, and I started to eat my food.

"If you need anything, ask me. I just might have it."

"So you're the DD of rehab?" DD stands for Drug Dealer.

"Yep yep. Room 13" He said and I smiled. So I now know of a dealer in the rehab. Nice at lest I know, just in case.

Ok that is supper short I know I hope to write more next time. I'll update as soon as I can.

Ashley


	16. You had a bad day

Author note: ok so I know in rehab they check you, and you cant get drugs (I was in one myself back like 2 years ago lol) but what some people do, is they trade pills they give you, and some people who have the good drugs will accually sell theirs

Author note: ok so I know in rehab they check you, and you cant get drugs (I was in one myself back like 2 1/2 years ago lol) but what some people do, is they trade pills they give you, and some people who have the good drugs will actually sell theirs. Again that happened in mine, and my friend had that happen in hers as well. Some of those pills they give you can fuck you up. (Really) So its not weed, pills is where I'm going with this. Got to love the pill poppers. (jk jk) Anyway,

Baby doll gone wrong

Chapter 16: you had a bad day

I sat on my bed, looking at the pill in my hands. It was tempting, but I had to prove to myself that I didn't need it. The longer I looked at it, the harder it was. The pill seamed to be calling out my name. I can do this ran though my head over and over again. Could i really do this though? Could i turn down the drug, the drug that helped me get though so much. This was pure torture, and I was the victim. I was stuck between knowing whats right, and wanting/craving what I must have.

I jumped out of my trance, when I heard a knock on my door. I threw the pill under my mattress, and went to open up. There was Edward like always. He stayed here also 24/7, unless he had to hunt. It got really anoying sometimes. You think he would want to do anything other then stay with me. He left me one time, how hard could it be to do that again. As I looked at him I noticed a look in his eyes. That told me, he knew something was up. "What's up?" i asked hoping that it wasn't what i thought it was.

"I thought you wanted to get better." He said to me. I looked at him, and came to fact that he knew I had a pill.

"I do." I said back.

"Then why did Alice see you taking a pill? If I didn't come over, you would be right back to where you were before. Do you want that?" He was pissed; I could read it all over his face. His eyes where pure black, and I knew that was really bad. That was like the worse out of all the colors. At lest I knew how to get him to yell at me. That was a step up. I mentaly slapped my self for thinking of something as stupid as that durring this time.

"I had to test my self!" I screamed at him. "I had to know that if I was ever to look at a drug that I could turn it down. I know you will leave one day, and when that day comes I know I've got to be able to handle this alone. I have to know that I can resist drugs all on my own." I got up and tried to leave the room, but I felt his hand gap me.

"Bella. Why are you so scared that I will leave you again?" That was a stupid question. It was more like, when is he going to leave me?

"I know you will. It's not a fear, its reality. You are a vampire, and I'm just a normal girl. I know you won't change me, so it's only fair that you leave one day." I answered back while trying to wiggle out of his grip. I looked up to see that his face hardened. There was a look of sadness appearing on his face, and I didn't want to see it. Cause I was the one tat caused it. I felt almost sad for saying it the way I did, but it was still true. In the end he would stay young forever, and I would be going though life ageing. It was a fear that I knew I would have to face. One day, I wouldn't be able to see him again. He will have to move on, and I would be here all alone yet again.

"I told you that I'll never leave you again."

"You mean that now, but one day that will change." I said back before finally getting out of his grip, and running into the bathroom. I slammed the door, put my back up against it, and slowly fell to the ground.

I stayed there for over 30 minuets before I decided to open up the door. I saw the room was empty, and sighed. When ever he was here I didn't want him to be, but when he leaves I want him back again. Is that even sane? I sat back down on my bed, and thought. I wanted to take that pill. It was only a little bit beneath where I lay, it wouldn't be hard.

My hand started to inch over to where I placed the pill. It was tempting me in a way that it felt like an itch I had to scratch.

My hand was shaking, as it involuntarily moved. What was I doing? I went for it, and all I could do was watch. It was like watching a movie. I couldn't control a dam thing that was going on, and I wish I could. I tried to yell out to someone that I needed help, and I needed it now. I didn't want to do this, but my body needed it.

My brain was waiting for that kick, and there it was. That little pill in my hand could do so much for me. All I had to do was take it.

I looked at the pill, and before I really could do anything it was gone. I didn't even notice that I took the pill until I started to feel the effects. It was scary, every scary. I felt as though everything I was doing was for nothing.

I was weak, and I would fall to temptation. I started to cry, and I tried to get up. I only fell right back down with a thud. That's when I heard the door open. Edward was by my side in a flash, and all I did was cry more. "I'm so sorry!" I yelled out. His face was full of shock and a bit of… disappointment.

"Bella." He said clearly shocked. "This is my fault, I left you. You said I would too." O no. He was not going to make this all about him.

"Stop!! It's me who is fucked up ok. I couldn't even stop myself. I tried, and tried. Only I was not strong enough." I cried out, as his arms wrapped around me. "I have to do this. I have to fight it." I said while holding on to his shirt and rocking back and forth. I always end up hurting him, and he keeps on taking it. The world was fuzzy again, and everything seamed to click. The world seamed a better place when I was like this.

He held me the whole time, and that's when another thing hit me. I loved him with all of my heart, that was better then any drug. He was better then this drug that was calling my name. At lest for now, I needed someone there for me. I guess I can't really do everything on my own. I looked up at my hubby vampire and smiled.

It was a bit of a creepy smile, one that I could see plastered on a Scio. "I love you." I said to Edward, and all he did was nod. "I need you here. Promise not to leave me, at lest not until I'm better. Without you, I know I will never get better."

"I promise." He said back, while moving some hair out of my face. I leaned into his shirt, and he laid me on my bed. There I watched the patterns on the wall, until I found my self lost in rather a high, or a dream. I really couldn't tell the difference.

--

Ok so tell me what you think. It's been 4ever since I last updated.. I've been busy. I told myself I would not blog about the book… I can not!! Maybe next chapter lol no I wont cause I know some of you may not have read it yet

Anyway, tell me what you think!!

ashley


	17. I Get What I want

Baby doll gone wrong

(Melissa point of view)

Chapter 17: I get what I want

I was tired of sitting here, and waiting. I couldn't get Bell out of my head. Why wouldn't she just get out of my head? Everywhere I looked, I wished she was with me. I was sitting down at a party all alone. Claire was off with some guy, and everyone was making out with their hook up for the night. I didn't want anyone else. I wanted her, and only her.

It was killing me ever so slowly on the inside. She seamed to have jumped off the face of the earth. No matter what I tired, I wouldn't get a hold of her. I needed to see her, and bring her back to where she needed to be. She needs to be right next to me. She was my heart, my sole and without her here, I'm nothing. I feel numb, as though I don't have anything to wake up to.

If only I told her. If only I let her know the truth. Why didn't I just say it to her? If only I could get a few minutes with her. I would tell her how I feel. I looked up to see a joint being passed to me. I saw Ma smile as I took it.

"You looked troubled." She said as though she didn't know. Everyone knew that I was still morning over my Bell leaving me.

"That may be because I am." I said back smartly. She grinned as I took a few hits and then passed it back.

"Why not vent some of those feelings you're hiding inside." She stated back to me. She was more like telling me that I had to tell her what was on my mind. We ended up passing the joint back in forth as I told my story. "Seams to me that you have to go where she is."

"What do you mean by that?" I asked.

"Go and check your self into rehab. You say that you will stop drugs for her, so go do it. Do anything, and everything to tell her that she means something to you. Worse comes to worse, you got others."

"I don't want anyone else. I want, no I need her." I answered back, and she smiled.

"Then go back and get her!" I grinned at her while we finished up the joint. I started to think about how we could be. I would do anything for her; I didn't need to even think about it.

I got up and headed for the kitchen. I had to think this plan out. Tell my mom that I want to go to rehab and get better. She knows I do drugs, and she is always on my back to quit. She will send me there in a second. I got a bowl of caption crunch, and waited until I would take action.

--

Ok this is short. But I'm tired. I'm on JV softball!! (Yea I'm happy no c- squad)

Anyway, I'm sore and tired and I don't really have a lot of time to write. I still will, but the chapters will be shorter. Sorry and soon I will work out everything my life is hectic right now. Well hope you all like it!!

O and the next chapter will be her point of view as well!! So she is coming back, and she is bout to change everything! (Well not everything lol but a relationship 4 sure)

ashley


	18. you hit my heart

Author note: ok so I know in rehab they check you, and you cant get drugs (I was in one myself back like 2 years ago lol) but what some people do, is they trade pills they give you, and some people who have the good drugs will accually sell theirs

Baby doll gone wrong

(Melissa point of view)

Chapter 18: You hit my heart

I walked up to the rehab center. All I could hope was that I was doing the right thing. I had to change for her, and this was what she wanted. She wanted to be clean, so in return I had to do the same. She was my everything, and I didn't want to lose her.

I walked into a room with a front desk. There sat an old lady, and I slowly walked over. Claire was behind me with a look of discomfort on her face. "Is she really worth all of this? Look not everyone gets what they want. Just deal with it, and come back and drink with us tonight."

"Claire, I love her. I would do anything for her, even if it means this. If our Bell can do it, then so can I." I said right back, before taking the paper on the front desk. My Mom arranged everything for me, and all I had to do was sine in, and get a room number. Everything else was taken care of.

The lady at the desk looked up at me. "Who might you be?"

"The name is Melissa Heartwood, and I should be like on a list or something. The lady nodded before typing my name into the computer.

"Here you are," She said with a smile. "Your mom did everything for you. She even got you a room, and lunch money." She said while going though her desk. She had papers everywhere, as though she was a library or something. How much files did they keep in places like this? "Here you are room 18. O and take this map, She handed me a map, with every room number, and hall on it. "and this is your time tables. It tells you everything you need to know. You find out when group is, and individual therapy, lunch, and all of those kind of things." I took what she handed me and smiled.

Claire gave me a last hug, and felt her crying in my arms. "I'll miss you." Claire said to me and all I could do was nod. I loved her, like a sister, but I needed Bell. We were connected, in a way that I was never connected to a person by. "My number one party girl is leaving me."

"You could come with me you know." She shook her head, and I sighed. She wiped her eyes, and tried to smile.

"Call me. I promise I will always answer to you."

"I promise." I said back, before I left her, and headed father into the building. I had to do this, and there was no way back now. A woman was no front of me, showing me the way. She tried to chat with me, but my mind was else where. I had only one name in my head, Bell.

She showed me to my room, and I set out to put everything up. My bathroom was small, yet just right. I smiled at the though of where I was. I would soon be able to see her, and show her that I would change for her.

I made my way into group therapy. Who would ever think of group therapy, they must be a lonely person, because this was pointless. It was basically just a gathering to make people feel like they where doing something good. They support each other and all of that, and I don't see any point to HAVE to go.

I walked into the room, and there she was. My bell was sitting in the corner with her head down. "Bell." I said as I came near her. Her head shot up, and a grin went across her face. She jumped up and we hugged. It felt like I had butterflies in my stomach, that only she could cause.

"What are you doing here?" She asked with disbelieve written on her face.

"I'm here to show you that i can quit. Life is nothing without you there, and I'm sick of doing all the drugs." Bell looked at me, and smiled.

"I'm so happy that you are doing this! Fair warning it's a LOT harder then it looks. I have relapses all the time." Bell said while looking down.

"I'm here to try at lest." I answered back, before taking a seat next to her.

Ok so I put Melissa into rehab! Now the battle for Bella's heart begins!! Ha, ha, ha, sorry I'm in accounting class and I'm like supper bored lol

ashley


	19. I kissed a girl and i liked it

Author note: ok so I know in rehab they check you, and you cant get drugs (I was in one myself back like 2 years ago lol) but what some people do, is they trade pills they give you, and some people who have the good drugs will accually sell theirs

Baby doll gone wrong

O so I'm on my way to my softball game right now! Yea I'm happy, I'm really bored and my uploaded 'Dark night' was really some other movie that didn't look good at all. So I am PISSED! GRR. I should of uploaded the movie6 version.

ANYWAY, I hope you all enjoy my on the bus writing!

(Back to Bella's point of view)

Chapter 19: I kissed a girl and I liked it!!

I couldn't believe what I saw. She was here, and she said it was for me. The thought made me smile, and remember why she was my best friend. She was always there for me, and this just proved that she would. I looked over at her during group, and dozed off as I thought. Melissa was called on to talk, and I didn't really hear a word of what she said. Of coarse I was pulled out of my thoughts by a hit on my arm.

I almost forgot that she did that a lot. I looked up, and saw the councilor with a look on her face. "Do you even know what I just asked?"

"Should I?" I asked back, trying not to smile as I did so. I never noticed before, but when I was with her I acted different. I was a different person, the person I kept hidden from the rest of the world. Not even Edward could get that part out of me. Melissa giggled and I found my self smirking. The counselor shook her head, and went on as though I never said anything. I turned to Melissa and she mouthed 'Welcome back.'

Group ended, and Melissa jumped up. "Let's go get something to eat." I nodded, and she grasped my hand as we bolted out of the room. We went into the lunch room, and I noticed a lot o people turning to look at us. I followed their gazes, to our hands. We had our hands still intertwined. I blushed, and dropped her hand. Melissa seamed to be doing the same thing, and I very quickly went in to the line to get food.

I hated being the center of attention. I got a quick sub and sat down. Melissa was right behind me, and we ended up sitting next to each other. I found myself feeling happier then I had for months. She was here, and I felt whole. Was it so bad?

She was with me when I needed someone the most. Where was Edward? HE was off, and left me all alone in a world of hurt. Melissa got off to talking about everything I missed in the last few months. While I was stuck in the building so much was going on outside these walls. I wanted to experience life. I didn't want to be stuck in this place. If I couldn't be with Edward in the end, how would life with Melissa be?

I found myself dozing off thinking about it. I was interrupted with Melissa snapping her fingers in front of my face. I jumped up, and Melissa laughed. "What have you been up to in this place?"

"Nothing really, therapy and these meds they have me on. They think I may be bipolar." Melissa laughed at the statement.

"They think you are bipolar? You've got to be kidding me. Well I hear the pills are get you really messed up." I smiled at her words. She was in here for me, like Edward. Edward didn't really have anything to give up, while she had so much.

"They do. It helps the days go by faster, and I try not to think about what is going on outside of these walls. When I do I get really depressed." Melissa put her arms around me, and I put my head on her shoulder.

"I'm here for you, ever and ever." Her words put a smile on my face, and I wanted to stay like this forever. That's when I was reminded of everyone else in the cafeteria. I heard a snicker, and looked up to everyone looking right as us.

"Have you never seen two people hug!!" I yelled, and everyone went back to their business. I heard Melissa try and hold back a giggle, but I shot her a death glare.

"Come on," She said with a pout. "You got to admit that it's funny." I rolled my eyes, and we finished up our meal. It felt good to have her here, and I didn't want anything to come between that.

The day went by uneventful. WE went to the TV room, and watched TV with some of the other girls. I never really went in there, and it was a little sad that she knew the way, while I didn't. I put my head on her shoulder, while we watched lifetime's _confessions of a Hollywood scarlet _with Jojo in it. The main actor was a recovering alcoholic fresh out of rehab, who just happens to be a celebrity. I found myself crying at times. Once the movie was over there was only us left in the room.

We were in a comfortable silence. It felt right to have her next to me the way she was. I could hear her heart beat, and I was then reminded of Edward. HE didn't have a heart beat. I got up, and turned towards her. While doing so, she was also getting up and we bumped into each other.

I fell over, and I gaped her. That brought her down with me. We landed with a thud, and I found my self laughing. "Why am I such a cluts?" I said and looked to see Melissa above me with a smile on her face. I then noticed how close we really where. Before I thought anything though, we kissed. I didn't know if it was my lips, or hers. Either way we were bout going at it. It started off slow, and soon grew. It was a red burning passion going though my body. I wanted more, so much more.

Her hands went down to my waist, and played with my hip bone. I felt an electric shock go though me. This was nothing like what Edward did. He was more conserved, and I found myself being dominated by her. I liked it. She was everything I wanted. She wouldn't have to worry about holding back, and I loved that. In that kiss I saw my life with her. I didn't have to wonder about it anymore. I saw a life I would love, where I would get old but still have her at my side.

We pulled apart and I then noticed something. Edward. This name flung though my head, and I got up. "I got to, I got to go." I said really fast, and ran down the hallway. I heard her yelling after me, but I had to get out of there. I ran into the room, and fell into the bed. I did something that was bad. That was on top of the 'no no' list. I knew there was tuning around after that. I had crossed the line, and now I had to pay.

We lost our game cry cry but I had fun!


	20. Retaliation

Baby doll gone wrong

Baby doll gone wrong

I'm ridding the bus back from my game while writing this. Even though I lost cry, cry I'll livem and this story needs more chapters case I said so.

Chapter 20: Retaliation

I laid on the bed and awaited my fate. I knew he would come in, and I knew he knew what I did. Melissa was probably thinking it bout it right now, hell I'm thinking about it. What was I thinking? I was hurting not only myself, but I was also hurting Melissa. I knew who I loved, it was Edward. I wanted to spend forever with him, and only him. I felt like crying, and that is what I started to do. I heard the door open, and I went numb. He was right behind me, and I didn't hear any yelling. I rolled over and took a look at him. He noticed my tears instantly and went to my side in a flash.

"Why are you crying?" I wanted to punch him. He knew exactly why I was crying. "I'm ok with it. I knew maybe someday you would want to be with someone else." I did a double take.

"What?" I couldn't take it. He was taking defeat just like that. He was support to fight for me.

"You have the right to chose who you want to be with. She can give you things I can't."

"Not more of that I'm damned talk" I yelled back at him. "I don't want to give up. I want you, not her. I want you to fight for me. Don't give up on me." I begged.

"What do you want me to do?"

"Show me you love me!" I said throwing my arms around him. "Show me." There was an underlying want in that request. He knew exactly what I wanted, and his face hardened.

"You know I can't do that." He answered back.

"You don't know that. I know you; you wouldn't do anything to hurt me."

"You don't know that." He answered back.

"Yes I do." I said while trying to pull him closer to me. He didn't move, so instead I kissed him. He was hard as stone, but I didn't give up. I wanted him, and before long he was responding. He was rougher then every before, and I loved it. His hand was under my shirt and was genteelly playing with my bra strap.

I gasped as him hand went on my skin. His hand was holding my breast and I felt vulnerable. I had so many dreams about this moment, but it didn't feel right. For just a second I thought of Melissa. That killed the mood, and I tried to push him off, but my body wouldn't agree with me. I wanted this too much to end it right now. Unfornunaly he pulled himself off me. "You can't end it like that." I said with a frown.

"That was my boundary, I can't risk you anymore then I already do." I sighed, and fell over. His hand was still resting on my breast, and that made it hard to lower my heart beat. It was going off the deep end.

I looked up at my pale vampire and smiled. I was going to win this battle. I wanted him, and I would do anything to get him. One problem was, when ever I was with Edward I thought of Melissa, but when I was with her I thought of him. Was there ever going to be any comprise.

Edward looked over up at me, and grinned. He tried to move his hand, but I put my hand on top of his, and shook me head. I wanted his hand there it felt right. His face held shock for a second, but smiled and kept it there. "I love you." I said to him.

"I know, and I love you too." He said back. I really did, but at the same time I didn't. I had to figure out what to do about Melissa. Should I turn my back on my love, or go for Melissa. I loved them bout so much. That's when I noticed something. There was two of me. There were two parts of me that couldn't live in the same body. I had to choose between the Bella, good girl who fell in love with the vampire Edward, and Bell, who loved to party, get drunk, and fell in love with Melissa. I loved them both, but in reality I couldn't have them both. I wanted to cry out. I had to choose between two loves that had different parts my life could go down. I wanted them both so much, but I knew I couldn't have both of them.

I cuddled up with Edward and started to drift off into a sleep. I just hoped nothing would come out in my sleep.

Ok so now here it comes 'the choice' she has to make. Don't worry there is still a few chapters before that choice comes. There is still more action and Bella keeps having change of heart moments. o and just to tell you any away game I have I will write a chapter lol just so you know.


	21. You Regret It?

Author note: ok so I know in rehab they check you, and you cant get drugs (I was in one myself back like 2 years ago lol) but what some people do, is they trade pills they give you, and some people who have the good drugs will accually sell theirs

I'm on my way to yet another softball game lol. I got a tourmenton Friday so idk if I will have time to update I might on my way there and back lol SO, anyway, here it is sorry about the long wait. I've had home games all last week.

O and my b-day is the 4th!! I'm 17 woot

Baby doll gone wrong

Chapter 21: You regret it?

_I was standing in the middle of a swaying bridge. On both ends of the bridge I saw two different people. One side Edward was there and I saw the Cullen's right behind him. Everyone was laughing, and having a good time. On the other end was Melissa. She was smiling at me, and behind her I saw Claire, and all my other friends. Then I saw a little boy in her arms. I was stuck right in the middle of the bridge, and I didn't know what way to go. Then the bridge started to fall beneath my feet, but I still didn't know what way to go. Edward and Melissa were yelling towards me trying to get me to move. I started to fall, and I saw my life play out in front of me. I was turned around so that I was facing the floor, and saw it coming. _

I awoke screaming on top of my lungs. There was sweat on my face, and Edward was right next to be with a look of concern across his face. His hands were around me, and I didn't know what to say. I really thought I was about to die.

I sat in his arms thinking about that dream. It didn't take a genius to figure out that it meant something. My future depended on this decision I had to make. Why couldn't have both of them? Whomever I choose I knew I had to loose a part of myself. I felt tears threading to go down my face, and so I jumped up to run to the bathroom. I hated when Edward saw any weakness in me.

Only problem was his arms stayed around me, and I couldn't get up. I looked up at him, and I pulled myself into his arms. He was my big, hard, pillow. He was my pillow that needed a good fluffing, because he felt like stone. Vampires didn't make the best cuddle buddies, but I loved him for that. He was my protector; he was here to make sure I was safe. With just that fact I could stay with him forever.

As the tears started to go down my checks, he wiped them dry. I didn't have to be anything other then myself around him. He could read me like an open book, and that could be both good and bad. At the same time I liked to have my own space. The only place he couldn't get into was my much protected mind.

After the crying, I looked up at my dark knight, and forced a smile. His face held a seriousness that I only saw on that counter with James. "What is it?" He didn't answer, and I didn't pry. I knew he need his own space at times, and I respected that.

"I need to go, but I'll be back soon. Don't go far." He said before getting up and leaving me on the bed. He was hiding something from me. I didn't like knowing that, not one bit. I groaned and flopped over on the bed. I needed to get some sleep, but the fear of another one of those dreams kept me up.

After a long hour or so of just laying on the bed, I gave up on the idea of sleep. I had to go do something. I got up, and made my way down to the cafeteria. I needed some food in me. I walked into the room, and I saw everyone look over at me. Some people smiles and I saw someone giggle my way. Why did this kind of stuff always happen to me? I got into line and saw Melissa. She came up from behind me with a hug. "What's up babe?" She asked. I looked up with her and smiled. She acted as though yesterday didn't even happen. I didn't know if that was bad or good, but I wasn't going to ruin it with questions.

I got pancakes, orange juice, and syrup my favorite crap you can get from here. This was worse then the school food, but I would live. Melissa took me to a table of other people. I smiled, but really I had no clue of who any of these people where. Melissa could make friends with almost anyone she wanted to, while I shied away from other. Am I a loner? I started to think to myself. "Bell." Melissa said as she snapped her figures in front of me. I shook real quick and looked over at her.

"What?" I answered back looking at her with a glare. Everyone was getting up to throw away food, and I noticed that I didn't even touch mine. How much time was I off in la, la land?

"Are you on drugs? If you have any you better share." Melissa said with a smile. I shook my head, and shoved some food into my mouth. I looked down at my food, and didn't really make any eye contact with her. "You know that we are going to have to talk about yesterday." I looked up at her and I felt my heart skip a beat. She had a sad look in her eyes. Did she regret it? I nodded my head. "What happened, let's pretend it never happened. I don't want anything to get in the way of our friendship, even a crush."

"So you regret ever doing it." I said to her, as I got up to leave. I turned on around, and I started to leave.

"No wait!" I heard Melissa say I started to leave the room. I had tears coming down my face. I loved Edward, so why do I feel this way for her. I'm beyond confused, and I wished I could see what I should do. From the looks of things, I guess it was a huge mistake on her side. I went back into my room, and collapsed on the floor. I didn't even notice Edward sitting on the bed.

I felt so bad, and I eventually heard banging on the door, and Melissa's voice coming from the other end. I didn't want to hear her, so I fell back into my bed, and tried to sleep.

o we won our first game!! yea 23 to 10. that rocks!! so ill try to update while i'm at soffball thing!! much love sorry about the wait

ashley


	22. He's abso freaking totally mine

Baby doll gone wrong

I'm on my way to yet another game! I have nothing to do on these long trips because I 4got my headphones lol

Chapter 22: He's abso- freaking- totally mine

EDWARDS POINT OF VIEW

I watched her cry her heart out. Why was I causing her so much pain? Melissa was pounding on the door with 'Omg my Bell, I didn't mean it! What am I going to do?' running though her head. That and soon it became 'Shit I need a smoke, like now.' I had to laugh at the ending thought, but still I was still concerned. Bella was a wreck. Alice saw this happening. I wish I take away all of her pain, because when she's like this I feel sad. I got up and started to look around.

Hours passed, and she eventually passes out on my arms. She was the definition of crying yourself to sleep. I could every so often hear her mutter out a cry. It was sad to have to watch, and really hard for me to not do anything. I got up, and decided to go talk to this Melissa girl. She hurt my Bella, and I had to tell her the truth. Was it so sad to maybe be happy if she ended up with her? She would live a normal human life. I knew what would happen if she chose her. She would be a happy human, and live her life normally.

I wanted her human; I couldn't stand the thought of her not. She was not meant for a life like this. It was a condemned life of blood, thirst, and pain.

MELISSA'S POINT OF VIEW

I stood outside the door for hours. She was crying, I could hear that, and she wouldn't open the door. I was so stupid. She was right there, and I again thought things too much. I should have let nature take its course. I just had to be all, let's be friends. She wanted more, and I could see that in her eyes. I mentally slapped myself in the head, and walked away from the door. This pounding on the door was doing nothing.

I made my way back to my room, and laid on the bed. I screwed up, but with the way she left yesterday, I thought she was the one that regretted it. I would rather us be friends, then nothing at all. I was scared of losing my best friend, but from the looks of it I already did that. I sighed and looked up at the ceiling. I heard a knock on my door, and yelled 'Come in.' then came in this cutest boy I ever did see. So this is the Edward my Bell always talked about. I really can't blame her, he was a hunk, but there was something different about him. The atmosphere changed when he walked in.

"You must be Melissa." He said flashing me a smile. I nodded my head, but started to look around the room. He was intimidating, so much to where I had to look away.

"Yea, you must be Edward." I said back. He chuckled.

"We have to talk about this situation among us." I nodded knowing where this was going. The whole stay away from my girlfriend crap, and I mentally prepared myself for that.

"I know that she loves you, and I won't make her choose. She has the right to pick who she wants, but I don't like the way you left her today." I nodded. "Good, because I've never seen her that upset. I don't plan to see her like that ever again." I nodded again. He smiled at me.

"You're not going to tell me to back off your girl?" I asked once I knew he was finished talking.

"I'm not that kind of person."

"O, the way Bell used to talk about you. It was like you where controlling, and didn't let her do anything dangerous."

"I don't, but still I wont force her to be with me or not. In fact I think you might be better for her then me." He said while looking down at the floor. He looked so sad. So much to where I stood up, and gave him a hug.

BELLA'S POINT OF VIEW

I got up, and looked into the mirror. I had to choose who I wanted. It was crazy; everything was falling apart around me. This girl I made up, this other part of myself couldn't stay. I know what I want, but can I do what I have to do to get it? Can I turn my back on someone I love just as much, for it?

Why did this have to be so confusing? I have to put this into my head; I have to know who I want to choose. There was Melissa, who did drugs, and came up in my life at a time when I didn't really have a life. Then Edward, who left me, but came back when I needed the help. Only would he always be here for me? That was the only doubt I had for him. Melissa was more of the going back to a life style of drugs. I was caught between two loves, and only one could survive.

I started to think, and decided to go talk to Melissa about what happened. I need to tell her the truth. I lover her, but I don't know if I could stand being away from Edward. She was good to balance out my problems, but Edward was the solution. I walked down the hallway back to where I know her room was. Before I could knock on the door, I heard voices inside. I couldn't make it out, but I opened the door. There I saw met with a sight I didn't like. Melissa was all over Edward, like she was hugging him. I didn't know who to be more mad at, Edward or Melissa. They broke apart when I came in, but the damage was done.

"It's not what it looks like." Melissa said, but I was backing away from them. Edward looked like a deer caught in the headlights. I felt betrayed, and I ran. I should have never left to go over to her. I can't believe she did this, and Edward too. I ran into my room, and looked around. I needed something, anything to make me feel better.

It hit me like a ton of bricks "Room 13." I said as starting over that way. I needed drugs, and he had some. I went up to his door, and took a deep breath. Before I had time to knock the door opened to reveal the Mexican. I still hadn't caught his name, how sad is that?

"I was wondering when you would come and stop by." He said while holding he door open for me. I smiled at him, and went it. I was nervous. How was I nervous? I've been doing drugs for like ever. I jest needed a little bit. He shut the door, and went into his stash of pills in him dresser. "This is your first time, so it's free." He passes me a few pills, and smiled at me. "Its x, strong x. next time I might let you have a try of northern lights." I nodded, and smiled.

"Thanks, and I will be back."

"If you get caught…" he started to say, but I cut him off mid speech.

"I know, I know, I didn't get them from you." He nodded his head, and just like that it was over. I walked back into my room, and placed the pills under my bed, there I found a cigarette, and smiled. I totally forgot I put that in there.

Ok so this one is short and I want it to be short. Ha I lost my game (grr) o, and northern lights are like part of the drug system. Ask any drugie and they will say the same. Other then that… nothing.

ashley


	23. Hurry Up and Save Me

Author note: ok so I know in rehab they check you, and you cant get drugs (I was in one myself back like 2 years ago lol) but what some people do, is they trade pills they give you, and some people who have the good drugs will accually sell theirs

Baby doll gone wrong

Ok warning, this chapter has… umm 3 some references. If you don't like it… then ill tell you and skip it.

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Chapter 23: hurry up and save me

I went outside, and put the pill into my bra. Most people wouldn't think of looking there. All I had to do was go to the smoking area, and then take it. I was soon outside, and quickly 'popped' the pill into my mouth. I light the cigarette, and before I knew what was happening I was escaping the world and entered my own. Everything was so clear now, and I didn't have any worries. I loved this feeling, it was utter and total bliss. I sighed and watched as the world slowly started to pass her by.

"Bella?" he asked with a questing voice, "are you ok?" I looked up into his eyes, but I couldn't answer. I felt hot, and very turned on. Edward leaned in and the second his cold breath hit my body, I couldn't help but moan. "Bella?" he asked with a bit of fear in his voice. I felt myself wanting to touch him, so that's what I did. My hand went up to his chest, and before I could really do anything he jumped back.

"You know I want to, and you know why we can't." He looked into my eyes, and he shook his head. "Are you high?" he asked me, and tried not to laugh.

"Why should you care?" I asked back, while putting my hand off his chest. Even though I know he is cold, I swear I felt warmth when my hand was on him.

"Hey, you know I love you." Edward said. I looked over at him, but I didn't believe him. Every time he starts to say things like that, he pulls me in.

"I need to think." I answered before getting back into the building. How much thinking was I going to do today? I thought I had everything worked out in my mind, but now I don't know what way to go. Why can't life be like a movie? All I want is my happily ever after. Is that too much to ask? All I want is a knight in shinning armor, or my prince to get me. I made my way back into my room, and went back for the other pills under my bed. I need more, I needed some kind of epiphany for my future, and drugs can help with that. At lest I hoped drugs would help me get out of this predicament.

_(OK in a bit the … reference is coming up so if you don't want to read it, pass it by)_

I 'popped' the pills into my mouth, and let the salvia in my mouth help me sallow it. After you've been popping pills for a while, you don't need water. I looked around my room, and felt myself become one with the wall I was leaning against. My mind went off, and I found my self into an alternate universe. I saw everything in a new light, and before I could help myself I was thinking about both of them, at the same time. I envisioned both of them kissing me.

Was it the x making me think like this, but either way I found my self getting turned on just by the idea. My fingers started to make their way down my body, and I closed my eyes while thinking of them both. I started to feel myself go into bliss. i remembered what Melissa did to me, and the way I kiss Edward, and the thought of both of those going on at once. It was like electricity going off in my mind.

Before I knew it I had an organism. I felt as though I was floating on air. It was like fireworks going off around me, and I waited until I came down. It was like an extra high to my already big high. When was the last I did this? Never! I never did this with Edward around, and he was here like 24/7. I laid there in complete bliss, and smiled. I needed more alone time in my life.

_(Ok the 3 some reference is over) _

I got up, and looked around the room. Things were moving around, and I really couldn't see what was right in front of me. My room looked as though it was breath, and started shaking.

One downside to drugs, your body shakes. I don't know if that's good or bad, but I know I can't stop it. I felt so cold, and I pulled the cover around my head. With the covers on my body, I felt like I was part of the bed. It felt like hundreds of pounds where pulling me into my bed. I have no clue why I always do this, but I do it. Without the drugs I feel empty.

I got up, and noticed that I had the munchies like hell. I needed something to eat, so I made my way over to the cafeteria. I don't really remember how I got my food, but I was sitting down at the table. I felt fait, and tried to hide the fact. It didn't take a genius to see that there was something wrong with me.

I looked down at my spaghetti and sighed. I was all alone, and I hated the thought of being this way. I heard a noise from behind me, and I saw Melissa sit down next to me. I tensed and didn't know what to say. I didn't want to lose a friend over something so stupid, but I did wonder what was going on in that room. Luckily she spoke first, and I didn't have to say anything. "Bell, I can't stand that you are mad at me." I looked up at her, and she looked in my eyes and started to bust out laughing. "I thought you where here to get clean?"

I knew she would of noticed, but I didn't think she would catch on that quickly. "Can you tell that much?" I asked my voice sounding higher pitched then it really is.

"How about you don't talk, and look down at your food. I couldn't tell until I saw that glazed look in your eyes."

"So..." I said out loud wondering what I should say. How could I ask this question without sounding mean? "What happened in your room?" I asked. I let out a big breath, and I heard Melissa laugh.

"You think something happened between us right?" I looked down and didn't say anything. "Nothing happen. He came and told me that he's not mad about what happened between us, and that it's your choice on who you want." I started to get up. I was sick of being lied to.

"I don't believe you. Why where you hugging him?" She didn't answer, and I took this time to get up. "I love you Melissa, and I know who I need now."

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Ok so that's the end of this chapter!! Haha my wannabe cliffy lol

Hope you like it

ashley


	24. forever we'll be you and me

So I reread the last chapter and I was all… yea not that the best I have done… lol so I hope this chapter is a LOT better

So I got midterms this week!! Wednesday and Thursday! GRRRRR I was looking all weekend for a Harley Quinn outfit. Like NOONE has it!! And I could get it from _**spirit Halloween**_, but it's like 56 dollars!! Holy shit!! So I got the joker. Ha anyway,

Here is more!!

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Baby doll gone wrong

Chapter 24: forever we'll be you and me.

I left what was right, and I knew I would never be the same without him. He was my air; the element I needed to survive. "Melissa, I need Edward. I love you, but..."

"I know, I've always known somewhere." I had tears starting to go down my face. She smiled up at me, and took my hand. "I'll always be here. Even when you are with him, I won't ever stop being your friend." I gave her a hug, and got up. I had to find Edward. Why was I always not paying attention to what was right in front of me? I got up, but slipped. Stupid gravity, ever since I was little it was always getting me down. Melissa smiled, and helped me up.

"Thanks" I said before taking off again. People where still laughing and my expense, but I really didn't care. I was a girl on a mission. I got to the hall way and started to look around, _If I where a vampire where would I go?_ I asked myself. I walked over to the 'activity room' or TV room what ever way you look at it. On the couch I saw to people cuddling, nope he wasn't there.

I ended up searching the whole rehab center, or at lest the rooms I could go into. I sighed, and made my way back into my room. Who should be on my bed, but Edward himself. He had a huge grin on his face; I gave him a glare. "I just searched this place for like an hour! Here you are just chilling on my bed, grr" I said before launching myself on my bed. He chuckled slightly. i rolled over on my stomach and had my head on his leg. "I take it you heard me talking to Melissa."

"I might have." He said with a grin.

"I'll take that as a yes." He leaned in, and gave me a kiss. I put my hands behind his neck, and deepened the kiss. He didn't pull away, and smiled. Everything felt so right, and I knew this is where I was meant to be.

A few months later

I walked out of the rehab center with a smile on my face. I was finally 'cured' and I didn't feel like a needed the drugs anymore. I hope it stays like that, but since I finally got out of the drama of who to choose, it feels like my life is coming back together. Edward took my hand, and I gave him a smile. Outside I saw Alice, who jumped me the second she could. "I missed you sooo much. I started to doubt my own visions." She said while hugging me. "We have to go shopping, and a spa day!" she said, and I couldn't help but laugh. I knew that no mater what I did she would make be come, so I might as well as. "That's right no complaining out of you." She said with a grin. We got into the car, and I knew that this is how I always wanted it to be.

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Ok so that's it!! my story is OVER!! Idk bout a sequel I think I ended this well… or I hope I did.

ashley


	25. Epilogue

Ok so Leontyne gave me the idea of an epilogue

Ok so **Leontyne **gave me the idea of an epilogue. So here is my… version of one.

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baby doll grone wrong

Epilogue

2 years later

Everything has changed in my life. Drugs are no longer a need; in fact nothing along those lines will ever be a need. About 9 months ago I changed. I was finally what I've been begging with Edward to become, a vampire. I thought he would never budge, but I did everything he wanted. I even married the guy.

Flash back – a year ago

I walked down the stairs, and couldn't help but hope I didn't trip. This was a once in a lifetime moment. It was one of those moments where anything and everything I do will be remembered for the rest of my life. A life that I hope to spend forever with Edward. I walked down the aisle, and there was my soon to be husband. I couldn't believe that here I was next to the love of my life about to get married. I'm getting married to a vampire at that. He was everything I ever needed, and everything I ever wanted.

"You look stunning" Edward whispered to me as I made it next to him. I felt myself blush, and I heard a tinny chuckle out of him. The whole service i was staring at Edward. I was happy with my choice, and I understand that I could never me happy with Melissa.

I looked out to my side to see Melissa as my brides' maid. She was seeing, Claire. Who would have thought? I guess they are sort of keeping it in the family. Their mom's hooked up, and now they are too.

I turned my attention back to the ceremony in the perfect time. "Do you take Edward Cullen to have and to love in sickness and in health?"

I grinned at my lover, "I do" I answered with confidence in my voice. I knew he was the one, the one and only for me. The next thing I heard was Edward's 'I do.' A quick 'you may kiss the bride,' and now we where kissing.

I never wanted to let go, but I had to breathe. He was all I could look at, and the future I wanted. Forever and ever, I wanted to be by his side.

End of flashback

I was sitting down on the couch with my Edward right next to me. Everything was right, and that's how I always wanted it to be.

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Ok a very short epilogue that just sort of wraps everything up. Bella/Edward together, and I put Melissa/Claire together (I wanted Melissa to have some kind of happy ending)

So now that is officially all I will write on this! Hope you all enjoyed.

ashley


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